6 definitions by KeepItSweet

Stands for International Classification of Diseases. Codes for diseases that have been established by the international scientific community to validly and reliably exist.
-Why are ICD codes better than CPT codes?
-They're not. It's the CPT codes that get you the insurance money.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the ICD mug.
An imaginary disease, used for decades by hypochondriacs to get special favors and manipulate their families, that now has an ICD code, verifying that research shows that it's a legitimate non-psychiatric medical condition
-Did you hear that Jennifer has fibromyalgia?
-Well, I always thought that she was a manipulative psycho bitch. Maybe now she'll get some professional help.
-For being a hypochondriac?
-Hypochondriac? Hell, doesn't she have Munchausen syndrome?
-The ICD says it's a legitimate disease now.
-What do they know? They haven't had to work or live with her. I'm the one who should get a diagnosis of Jenniferitis.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the Fibromyalgia mug.
An illness where the doctors could find a tangible cause through modern methods of divination (such as blood tests and x-rays) and therefore feel confident that potions, cutting, and the application of poisons with powerful paradoxical mojo will surely work and not be wasted. Such illnesses are called "structural", the opposite of which is "functional." When divination methods fail or produce ambiguous results, the patient is said to have a functional or psychiatric illness and is given specific time periods to bitch and moan about imaginary problems. This is not considered respectable because it fails to promote the position and power of the medical profession.
-You know how that weirdo Craig acts like such a psycho, crying all the time, yelling, making no sense, frothing at the mouth and all kinds of other scary shit?
-Oh yeah, I told the dude straight up that he needs professional help.
-OMG, dude! Turns out they did an x-ray on his head. It's all kinds of messed up in there. Turns out Craig has a non-psychiatric illness.
-No way! That is so weird. Well, anyone who acts like that needs professional help anyway, IMHO.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the non-psychiatric illness mug.
Female, especially middle aged and no longer "hot", who complains of a disease that doctor-magic cannot diagnose and/or treat.
That bitchy old cow in my examining room keeps saying she has heart palpitations but I can't hear any. She's probably lonely and wants attention because her old man can't it up anymore. I guess I can't prescribe that nasty, fat middle-aged hypochondriac the little blue pill for her hubby, though. Her husband might have a heart attack at seeing her naked. My medical training didn't prepare me to deal with a hypochondriac like her. Referral for psychiatry.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the Hypochondriac mug.
A euphemism for mental health services, implying that mental health services are shameful and should be kept a secret. Also, in a country like the United States, which values the physically active, the tangible, metrics, and all and only that which can be seen and measured, the legitimacy of a group of professionals who sit on their butts all day listening to people bitch and moan has to be questioned.
-Did you hear about Mike? He's all kinds of messed up since getting out of the service: homeless, drugs and alcohol, divorced, all that.
-Yeah, I feel bad cause bro got hit by shrapnel. Still, I think maybe he needs professional help.
-... ... ... So, you gonna tell him he needs professional help?
-Hell no.
-Yeah, hell no...
-Maybe give him some space, right?
-Yeah, he's got is war buddies, right? Maybe he's turned into some kinda psycho.
-Yeah, let's just give him some space, bro. It's cool. He'll be fine.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the Professional Help mug.
1. The kind of person the mainstream media has told you to stay away from.
2. A person that will ruin your life by infecting you with their personal problems.
3. Someone who will make you less perfect by means of secret magical rituals. They will make you: a. Lose your spouse, b. Lose your job, c. Lose your reputation, d. Lose your credit rating, e. Lose your house, f. Lose your self-control, g. Lose all of your other friends, h. Get you in trouble with the law, i. Get you arrested, j. Persuade you to do things you would never do, k. Lose your mind, l. Get you locked up, m. Make you feel like Mommy and Daddy don't love you any more. n. Destroy everything you ever worked for.
4. A person who has problems and is not perfect.
5. A person who didn't take their Adderall.
6. The guy in the Hitchcock movie who killed that woman in the shower.
7. Dexter and the American Psycho.
8. Psychopaths, narcissists, sociopaths, Hector Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs.
9. A worthless sad sack who lost their job since COVID-19.
10. All of the above, and add in anyone you don't like. They're all the same.
If you meet a psycho on the road, don't just kill him. He may come back to life as a skinwalker and haunt you forever. You have to spirit-kill psychos. A good way to do this is to always call the police on anyone you suspect of being a psycho. Any local news on any channel can tell you just who these people are, why you should be afraid of them, and what products you should buy to ward off their evil magical powers. Buy, buy, buy.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
Get the Psycho mug.