AP Biology represents a syndrome of symptoms discussed below.
It is synonymous with "the cure for procrastination."
The days leading to the test are packed with struggle, cynicism, and apathy, but with a good teacher, students can make it. They experience symptoms akin to bacterial meningitis as their brain struggles to process the sheer quantity of information. By the end of the year, however, only the willful and skillful remain.
AP Condition 5 ~ Final Month (2 chapters/day reviewed)
Ap Condition 4 ~ Final 2 Weeks (4 chapters reviewed per day)
AP Condition 3 ~ Final Week (10 chapters per day)
AP Condition 2 ~ Last 3 Days (intravenous red bull injection)
AP Condition 1 ~ AP Test Day
The day after:
At this point, students begin to feel lightheaded. Many may slip into brief periods of unconsciousness as their brain begins to populate the 200-300 petabytes of neuronal storage and memories associated with biology with new cells.
Neurons exit G0 and start dividing once more. Soon, the students will be able to remember their names, their family member's names, and for some even their address.
The subsequent years of healing and therapy will be hard, but students will always know it was worth it. None are procrastinators any longer. AP Biology has either cured them or applied Darwinian principles to their existence.
It is synonymous with "the cure for procrastination."
The days leading to the test are packed with struggle, cynicism, and apathy, but with a good teacher, students can make it. They experience symptoms akin to bacterial meningitis as their brain struggles to process the sheer quantity of information. By the end of the year, however, only the willful and skillful remain.
AP Condition 5 ~ Final Month (2 chapters/day reviewed)
Ap Condition 4 ~ Final 2 Weeks (4 chapters reviewed per day)
AP Condition 3 ~ Final Week (10 chapters per day)
AP Condition 2 ~ Last 3 Days (intravenous red bull injection)
AP Condition 1 ~ AP Test Day
The day after:
At this point, students begin to feel lightheaded. Many may slip into brief periods of unconsciousness as their brain begins to populate the 200-300 petabytes of neuronal storage and memories associated with biology with new cells.
Neurons exit G0 and start dividing once more. Soon, the students will be able to remember their names, their family member's names, and for some even their address.
The subsequent years of healing and therapy will be hard, but students will always know it was worth it. None are procrastinators any longer. AP Biology has either cured them or applied Darwinian principles to their existence.
We will no longer say AP Biology is like drowning. We will say drowning is like AP Biology.
~Gregorious Maximus
*To a student that's gone into shock as his brain has run out of memory from AP Biology*
"Take a chill pill Potter."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When discussing Photosynthesis and the carbon fixation involving RuBP Carboxylase*
"Rubisco is a street term. Only gangsters call it Rubisco. To you, it is R-U-B-P Carboxylase."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When a teacher-observer from administration asks why the children are testing in the dark*
"Tell'er __REDACTED__ "
__REDACTED__ *Robotically *: "The rods within one's eyes dynamically adjust levels of phosphorylated rhodopsin which is a slow process. By shutting the lights off, we can no longer cheat but can barely see our papers."
Gregorious Maximus: "Very good. You will one day be worthy of the title 'Biologist'".
*To students whose work has failed to meet the rigorous standards of format and quality anticipated by the class*
Gregorious Maximus: "This, this is fecal matter!
*To a group of students which turned in differing data in their lab reports*
Gregorious Maximus:
*Breaks Meter Stick In Half* "You have 1 minute to tell me who's data is the most valid."
Students: *Panicking noises*
*Disclaimer: Gregorious Maximus bears no similarities to any real people. He is a transcended being representing everyone's favorite, most loved, most treasured, and hardest teacher.*
~Gregorious Maximus
*To a student that's gone into shock as his brain has run out of memory from AP Biology*
"Take a chill pill Potter."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When discussing Photosynthesis and the carbon fixation involving RuBP Carboxylase*
"Rubisco is a street term. Only gangsters call it Rubisco. To you, it is R-U-B-P Carboxylase."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When a teacher-observer from administration asks why the children are testing in the dark*
"Tell'er __REDACTED__ "
__REDACTED__ *Robotically *: "The rods within one's eyes dynamically adjust levels of phosphorylated rhodopsin which is a slow process. By shutting the lights off, we can no longer cheat but can barely see our papers."
Gregorious Maximus: "Very good. You will one day be worthy of the title 'Biologist'".
*To students whose work has failed to meet the rigorous standards of format and quality anticipated by the class*
Gregorious Maximus: "This, this is fecal matter!
*To a group of students which turned in differing data in their lab reports*
Gregorious Maximus:
*Breaks Meter Stick In Half* "You have 1 minute to tell me who's data is the most valid."
Students: *Panicking noises*
*Disclaimer: Gregorious Maximus bears no similarities to any real people. He is a transcended being representing everyone's favorite, most loved, most treasured, and hardest teacher.*
by TheGreatDefinerOfWords December 5, 2017
A subject that should be avoided at all costs. Taking such subject may result in ending up in a concentration camp with no windows and no first amendment rights for 10 or more hours a week, depending on how many detentions one has.
by SavetheEstuaries March 6, 2009
A never-ending course of destruction and despair rendering innocent, unsuspecting students in an irreparable state of insensibility and incoherent muttering. This course is designed to produce a free and renewable source of distant cries for schools across the nation. 70% of class time is spent doing anything but biology, including but not limited to: chemistry, physics, making tables, inventing new ways to yell at computers, and, of course, math. All AP Bio students will encourage others to take the course next year, so long as they have not had class for at least 2 hours prior and it is not a lab week.
Student A: Hey, how'd your AP Biology lab go?
Student B: Not bad. I only had 10 plants die this time. I finally have one that lived!
Student A: We were only supposed to have 8 plants.
Student B: AP BIOOOO!!!
Student A: How'd you do on the immune system test.
Student B: 28!!
Student A: Niceee
Student B: Not bad. I only had 10 plants die this time. I finally have one that lived!
Student A: We were only supposed to have 8 plants.
Student B: AP BIOOOO!!!
Student A: How'd you do on the immune system test.
Student B: 28!!
Student A: Niceee
by Billy Bob Jenkins IX March 21, 2013
A way to say that it deals with, or is, sex without saying it. Very useful when a shy or inexperienced person is trying to avoid embarrassment. Can also be used to keep the true meaning of a conversation/question from being realized. Biology in this case means reproduction or sex.
1. "It deals with biology." Spock to Kirk. Spock was not about to say 'sex' to Kirk. He was too embarrassed.
2. "I'm not sure what Paul and Ali (girl) did last night, but I'm sure it dealt with biolody," Joanne said to Virgina.
3. "He asked me to help him with his biology! Little did I know that he didn't mean his homework!" - geeky girl
2. "I'm not sure what Paul and Ali (girl) did last night, but I'm sure it dealt with biolody," Joanne said to Virgina.
3. "He asked me to help him with his biology! Little did I know that he didn't mean his homework!" - geeky girl
by Sans0uAvecV0us January 28, 2009
A time and mind-consuming vortex of dispair, from which there is no excape. It destroys GPA's, self esteem, and dreams of one day becoming a biologist.
I used to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night, but now I have to study for AP Biology and only get 3.
by Cherting March 14, 2008
Really hard stuff that normal folk like myself cannot understand and have to read the same sentence five times to move on. Everyone else is done by this point and playing volleyball on the beach like a scene from the OC.
"Hey Joe you wanna go out and get some CHICKS."
"No..I got Biology Homework ....*jumps back into slave pit where he is then stoned with really heavy biology and finely sharpened no. 2 pencils.
"No..I got Biology Homework ....*jumps back into slave pit where he is then stoned with really heavy biology and finely sharpened no. 2 pencils.
by KALESBALES September 3, 2008
by KAKAKAKOW December 16, 2013