Bedtime Story

The act of pulling out the porn just before sleeping and having a wank before passing out asleep. A common practice amongst teenage boys, as well as self-proclaimed celibates.

Man - "So what did you get up to last night ?"

Colleague - "Not much, just watched tv and read myself a bedtime story"

by Ngoc8r February 12, 2007

bedtime bellow

Farting under the blankets, then using one leg to create a bed-sized bellow to transfer the stink to your bed-mate.

I knew my gas was bad so, despite the colateral damage, I gave my girl a bedtime bellow.

by 12345678910111213 March 24, 2008

blueberry bedtime

when you cant possibly stay awake any longer.

my parents told me my bedtime was 10, but my blueberry bedtime last night was 945, i was exhausted.

by mjryan06 February 8, 2010

IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

Literally nobody:

Mom: IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 29, 2021

Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.

Man, go read grandma a bed time story.

by DIE May 28, 2003

bedtime porn

ASMR ( listening to it before/while sleeping)

ASMR is bedtime porn

by 035173 November 29, 2021

Facebook-Bedtime

A certain time, usually around 11-12PM when you refuse to check any more of your facebook notifications.

Guy1: dude, i just tagged you in a photo, check it out!

Guy2: Ugh, ill check it tomorrow, it's way past my Facebook-bedtime.

by BaconSauce August 29, 2010