Vacuum-Job

When real desperate people stick their appendages in the vacuum cleaner in an attempt to increase their length, however this exercise ends tragically.

"Dude, minidick tried giving himself a vacuum job, it was nasty."
"Dude, he had nothing to lose."

by Soiled Undergarment August 17, 2003

vacuum-cleaner salesman

Someone who fast-talks a line of canned bullshit, convinced that those who hear it take it as gospel truth.

All the people in the office laughingly referred to the Director of Support as "the vacuum-cleaner salesman" because she was such a transparent liar.

by LaughingAllTheWay February 24, 2011

vacuum herding

Using a vacuum to herd people in a certain direction-- mostly at retail work places when you want to close but there are stragglers still trying to shop halfheartedly just to piss you off. (That's what it seems, like, anyway.)

Turn on that vacuum and vacuum in such a way that in order to avoid the loud noise, the customers move closer to the exits.

(Not a technique to be used when the boss is around.)

Jimmy: Ugh, it's closing time but these guys won't leave.

Billy: Don't worry, I'm the master at vacuum herding. They'll be out of here when they hear the oh-so-scary vacuum heading for them. *smirk*

by fuxnix September 16, 2010

Vacuum Cleaner

Something to clean dust with or for pleasure if you enjoy the ultimate sucking experience

Mom: Son, have you seen the Vacuum Cleaner?

Son: I’m busy using it!

Mom: but I already cleaned your room earlier!

by YaBoiJesus July 17, 2019

vacuum-packed cows

A vacuum-packed cow can be found in most fields in Britain throughout autumn and winter. Many believe that the large cylinder black bags are full of hay, but that is an urban legend. Inside these mysterious bags are on average three vacuum-packed cows. These cows have been dehydrated and vacuum packed in order to keep them safe until spring. If you had ever wondered why there were a lot less cows in the fields in winter, you now know. Obviously not all cows are vacuum-packed, as it is still a new technology, and can be dangerous to cows, or require them to have months of therapy afterwards.

Farmer Brown started vacuum-packing his cows around October, so they could get used to their vacuumed environment.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

Vacuum cleaner

An appliance or apparatus that sucks current particles of dirt specks or dust. Vacuum cleaners have a tube that can also suck couch filth.

OMG a vacuum cleaner.

by JulianDB January 1, 2017

vacuum cleaner

a sexual position in which the man mounts the woman in adoggy style position. Then suddenly pull her arms out from under her and drags her face across the carpet.

I was bangin this broad doggy style when she said some other guys name so I switched from a doggy to a vacuum cleaner.

by troy garner September 21, 2005