Mathturbation

The math you do as a republican to make yourself feel better.

Mathturbation: What Megyn Kelly told Karl Rove when Fox News Called the race for Obama. (see youtube video "Math you do as a republican")

"Dude, did you see Karl Rove last night totally Mathturbate himself last night with his white board right before President Obama was re-elected."

"Yeah, He was really going at it with his magical white board"

by FactsMatter(except FAUX NEWS) November 15, 2012

mathturbation

What pseudoscientists, cranks and charlatans use to "prove" their self-indulgent theories.

The nutjob used mathturbation to show that the Bible contains an encrypted message warning of the September 11th attacks.

by AbnormalBoy December 2, 2004

Masterbation

1. Masturbation after one attains a new rank or does an important feat, or anything that would make one feel important.

2. Masturbation while in a rank of power or authority.

"Today was a great day, I won the spelling bee then i Masterbated."

"Dude you're 9... masterbation?"

"Feels Good man."

by KooKid October 23, 2009

Laws of Masterbation

1) you may only jizz on a guy if he is dead or unconscious.

2) You may only jizz on a girl if she is alive and conscious.

3) you may not jizz in front of family members

4) you may not jizz in front of a guy unless both of you are jizzing on the same girl.

feel free to add more.

Dude, you just broke the first and third laws of masterbation by jizzing on your dad!

by anon113618436 January 5, 2010

Urban masterbation

The activity, or sport, of ejacualting on random people in towns and cities, and then running away.

1) "Oh god, what happened to you?"

2) "Some asshole ejacualted all over me while I was walking home from work"

1) "Ah, he must have been playing urban masterbation"

by originalname1234 September 19, 2012

masterbation

simple practice of solo sex.probably not one teenage male that hasn't done it in your hometown,unless they are of course that kinda funny guy that just won't ever seem to converse about sex or girls.see limp dick motherfucker

i probably could not go a week without masterbation

by pothhead February 26, 2009

chronic masterbation syndrome

when you masterbate non stop for day and days on end. you start to lose satisfaction and try to get other people to masterbate for you.

Ian i cant stop masterbating i think i might have chronic masterbation syndrome

by DementedWarrior September 8, 2011