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Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
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monkeybate

The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.
"Bro, Chad is so fucking gooned out on his monkeybate."
by Ultbator August 19, 2019
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Spunky Monkey

n. A mixed drink, similar in taste to a mudslide, but with definite coffee tones. Very tasty! Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
2 shots Kahlua
1 shot Amaretto
1/2 cup Half-and-half
6 Ice cubes

Mixing instructions:
Add above ingrediants in a blender. Blend on high until the ice is crushed. Serve in a cocktail glass. No garnish.

A variation of the drink is called the Spunky Orangutan. For those who don't like coffee at all, replace the Kahlua with Bailey's Irish Cream. While chocolatey and without coffee bitterness of the Spunky Monkey, it also has an amazing hint of marchino cherry. Also very tasty!
Hey barkeep! Another Spunky Monkey, please!
by Dan Weyandt April 10, 2008
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sucks monkey fucks

*Really* sucking. Really being bad, beyond words. Usually applied to old, (S)NES video games but can also be used when sucking at doing something.
AVGN: It sucks so much it fucks. It fucks so much it sucks. It sucks monkey fucks.
by avgn_fan42 September 4, 2010
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parka monkey

Johns been listening to a lot of oasis recently and bought him self a parka what a parka monkey
by Oasisfan54321 April 2, 2018
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Monkey Whacker

The brief but agressive reciprocal hand job delivered but two older men before they leave the sauna, quickly finishing before any other guests arrive.
Grandpa wanted to get into the cabin with Grandma but quickly pulled a Monkey Whacker with Fred to keep all parties happy.
by BobbyScott June 25, 2016
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Vic Mackey

The main character of FX's cop drama The Shield which is now in its 4th Season. Detective Vic Mackey is a thorougly corrupt L.A. cop who is willing to do anything inside or outside the law to get the job done. He firmly believes that his actions are for the greater good. He is played by the talented Michael Chiklis.
"That makes you a special kinda B.. my bitch." -Vic Mackey to a suspect

"We knock down the doors other cops don't want to." -Vic Mackey to IA investigator after the death of Detective Terry Crowley at his hands.
by Paul Delaney March 19, 2005
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