too much loft

Is a sarcastic derogatory double entendre , usually made after a terrible golf shot. The key is the acronym l.o.f.t. meaning lack of fucking talent. It is best used against an unsuspecting victim who presumes by loft you mean the loft of the golf club.

Playing partner, "I think you had too much loft on that shot."
Shot maker, "No, I just caught it a little fat."
Playing partner, "By L.O.F.T. I meant lack of fucking talent, dillweed."

by keifermail August 23, 2008

squeeze a loaf

1. to poop, crap and/or shit
2. Basically pinching a beef sausage into the pot of lemonade stew (aka your pee and poop concoction)

Aaron and Bob squeeze a loaf after eating the buffet at Sweet Tomatoes

by IWasIntroducedtoUDByASnake April 6, 2015

pinched a loaf

Pinching a loaf refers to when one's sphincter clenches up mid-bowel movement, and cuts the egressing turd in half. The result is usually that one will have to wipe oneself raw in an effort to return one's rectum to a pristine un-befouled state of cleanliness.

Wife: Honey, what's taking you so long. We're going to be late.

Husband: I pinched a loaf, dear. Now I'll have to take another shower.

Wife: Oh, the humanity! I'll see if I can push back our reservations.

by Hoopermazing September 8, 2006

Gucci loafers

A type of footwear popular with City Slickers

Well pardon us, Mr Gucci loafers!

by Chuck's Feeduck And Seeduck October 25, 2020

Struggle Loaf

When you got a loaf of bread and then you watch the Food Network and you imagine that it's meatloaf.

Just because I got xbox live don't mean I'm not strugglin' nigga, I had to eat a struggle loaf last night.
-ModernWarNegro 2013

by They Call Me Mr. Struggle February 15, 2015

french loaf

When your shit log is so long that it looks like a long loaf of French bread.

"Man, my shit was so long that it looked like a French loaf!"

by Merlin1986 July 25, 2016

grunting a loaf

To defecate forcefully and voluminously.

I ate a whole rotisserie chicken and seven hot dogs. Several hours later, I grunted out a massive loaf.

by loafgrunter January 20, 2003