William Halpern

New Paltz middle school quire teacher who claims he is fourteen, but some sources point towards him being twenty-eight. Tall, awkward and a little geeky, Mr. Halpern uses finger-guns more than the average twelve-year-old. He has been depicted artistically as both a llama and a dinosaur, and both fit him very well.

"Who's that awkward eight grader?" "Oh, that's William Halpern."

by i_am_the_dolphin October 22, 2020

halpert

When you are banging a girl from behind through the bottom of your Tommy Bahama shorts, wearing a tucked in pink polo shirt, while watching CNBC and or reading the Wall Street Journal screaming "Fuck me you dirty little derivative."

Last week I halperted this cute I-banking chick I picked up at Barnes and Nobles in the Business section

by Sammy Franfurter January 2, 2009

Halpert

Halpert(verb)
When your friend makes a bad joke so you overreact so he won't feel bad...

Example
Me: *Tells a joke*
Friend: omg so fucking funny I cant ahahah🤣😂🤣😂
Me: did you just halpert me?

by Thehoemaker December 26, 2020

Halpern

A person who you can blame anything on in order to not get in trouble by your parents.

Mom- "Son, I found this bag of pot in your room today"
Son- "Oh Mom, That isn't mine. Halpern was over here and was smoking pot, I'm sorry"
Mom- "Thank Heavens! I always knew you were a good boy. Oh, and that Halpern is not welcome here anymore!"

by Bluntsnakes December 30, 2010

Halpless

To be useless; Pathetic

1.Pennies are so halpless.

2.How halpless, he can't do anything.

3. that louch is so halpless

4: "why isn't that guy doing anything at all."

"because he's halpless."

by PuffBall December 13, 2009

throw a Halpert

To stare off in another direction from the party you are interacting with, preferably to a third party, with a blank or mildly surprised look on your face to emphasize the ridiculousness of your conversation and/or situation with the first party.

The bridesmaid was so drunk and loud during the toast that I had to throw a Halpert to guests at another table.

After the professor stated the due date for the assignment, the undergrad asked when the assignment was due. The professor promptly threw a Halpert to the rest of the class.

by l0lwhut November 19, 2010

halpern

someone who is laid back and well known for people being able to confront with their problems

I need to talk to someone about my problems...where is a halpern when you need it?

by CHILIZZZNUM1 June 11, 2006