Quaranteed

A portmanteau of "guaranteed" and "quarantined": Mathematically assured to obtain the worst possible outcome which, in a given situation, is synonymous with the best possible outcome.

"I won't stop worrying until the Sabres are quaranteed at least the 2nd overall pick." -Steve Lexer

by RroseSelavy March 29, 2015

guaransheed

Certain, inevitable, destined to occur. Primarily used to denote that said action will be done with maximal gangsta steeze. Popularized by noted baller Rasheed Wallace.

"Yo, we gon' win on sunday. It's guaransheed."

by The Feight Train June 13, 2008

Guaranteed TD

Used as a phrase stemming from NCAA Football 2006 in which someone is so good at the game that before the ball is snapped, they are so confident in the play's potential success, they simply say: "Guaranteed TD." (guaranteed touchdown)

The phrase is then used whenever someone is confident about any other ocurrence in one's life about to take place.

Scenario is usually posed as a question, followed by "Guaranteed TD" at the very end.

Can also be used in shortened notation: i.e. "GTD."

"2nd & 3?" "Defense in cover 2?" "Trips left?" "HB Direct? "Pulsating?"....GUARANTEED TD...or...real life example...Having some girls over eh? Beer pong? Watching a movie and cuddling after? pleeease....Guaranteed TD.

by Jimmy33 December 9, 2005

Quaranteered

I am declaring the rights to this word:

V. To be involuntarily volunteered by your significant other during a pandemic or lockdown situation.

"I was quaranteered by my wife to obtain a dresser for the girls' room."

by Danbob312 May 2, 2020

Quaranteenth

A word used to symbolize the last time an action or event occurred prior to quarantine.

Man, I haven’t had a haircut since the quaranteenth.

by Eyebuyvinyl May 24, 2020

Action guaranteed

1. When the opposite sex of you has enough alcohol to give you some action. (derived from satisfACTION Guaranteed

I think that if Larissa has 4 beers it will be action guaranteed.

by krillo May 11, 2006

guaranteed

A term incredibly overused in advertising.

"OMFG!!! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!!!!1!1!11111!!one"

by idonthavaname October 5, 2006