counting chickens

Counting chickens is the personal belief that one is about to get laid. However, once the counting is done, one never succeeds.

I was hanging out with Wills at the club when I caught him counting chickens because this banging chick was all over him. She then left with another guy and hated on Wills

by Gimlet McQuade November 28, 2013

Counting in Cheetos

When a person has made up a number so preposterous that it can only be described with using a unit of measurement that does not exist.

A. I've had sex with 64 women.
B. Bullshit, you must be counting in Cheetos.

by m.ick January 18, 2011

Counting Crows

1. Contrary to popular belief, the Counting Crows are actually several middle-aged buttholes that have brainwashed most radio stations and youth into believing they make music. Actually, they make extremely expensive garbage-noise which is painful to hear in much the same way a fever hallucination is to experience.

2. An activity a person in a wheatfield might do.

hey, its long december! i love counting crows!

what? wait... really?

what do you mean? they're a really good band.

i hope your kids die of rabies.

by Barnaby J. July 4, 2008

Counting worms

Dead. Deceased. In the grave.

"Yeah, that berk who shot at the police took sixteen shots to the chest, he'll be counting worms soon."

by Zed Numar July 26, 2021

Counting Teeth

The recognition of the message being verbally communicated out of another's mouth. i.e. reading lips.

By counting teeth, I can tell when a homeless guy is lying about not drinking... especially if the front one is missing.

by Hummus Dummus March 28, 2011

counting kleenex

Trying to get to sleep by repeatedly jerking off.

Dude, I couldn't sleep last night after all that blow we did.

Me either, I was counting Kleenex all night.

by Shuaman April 22, 2016

Counting Coup

Like the basic definition, but counting the number of people you've had sex with.

I'm doing alright at 20, but that's probably minor Counting Coup to others.

I know one woman that claims at least 50 (Counting) Coup. She's a badass.

by headrift March 17, 2018