simulated blumpkin

A solo version of a blumpkin usually performed by jerkin it while taking a dump. It is usually performed by a Cringelord to the memory of some unrequited love. If the performer is short a couple ribs, either through surgical means or birth defect, may also be done full-simulation style.

Person A: Hey man, where did Cringelord go? he isn't bothering your friend again is he? I mean he's been after her so long when she's made it clear she just isn't that into him.

Person B: Nah, he just went to take a dump.

Person A: Oh, so he's doing a simulated blumpkin?

Person B: Yup...

by evilleppy June 13, 2020

Rumpel Blumpkin

Is derived from "Blumpkin" where you receive fellatio while defacating. However, a Rumpel Blumpkin is when you receive fellatio in a the same bathroom stall or toilet as somebody who is defacating.

I took this chick to the bathroom, but Joey was already taking a dump, so she straight gave me a Rumpel Blumpkin while he watched.

by Pico Rivera October 9, 2016

Texas Blumpkin

When a son is receiving head from either his mother, brother, sister, dad, grandma, grandpa, and cousins during the act of pooping.

Johnny received a Texas Blumpkin from his father

by BigFatJuicy456 April 9, 2016

blumpkin bomb

While a man is shitting and receiving a bj another man runs in as you finish and shoves her head between his legs into the shitty water

I sure gave marge from hr a nice blumpkin bomb this morning.

by Mr the sandwich March 20, 2017

Boobie Blumpkin

When you breastfeed while your taking a shit.

I love it when my wife lets me have a boobie blumpkin.

by Bigdicktony69 April 27, 2021

Lund Blumpkin

A variation of a blumpkin (receiving oral sex while pooping) where the recipient is pooping into a 5 gallon bucket.

After getting really drunk at Divers, she gave him a Lund blumpkin underneath his house.

by KromPecker February 14, 2022

tatty blumpkin

Unimpressive blow job while taking a shit

Woman: was it good for you?
Man: Eh, tatty blumpkin.

by bigmike72 February 20, 2011