A solo version of a blumpkin usually performed by jerkin it while taking a dump. It is usually performed by a Cringelord to the memory of some unrequited love. If the performer is short a couple ribs, either through surgical means or birth defect, may also be done full-simulation style.
Person A: Hey man, where did Cringelord go? he isn't bothering your friend again is he? I mean he's been after her so long when she's made it clear she just isn't that into him.
Person B: Nah, he just went to take a dump.
Person A: Oh, so he's doing a simulated blumpkin?
Person B: Yup...
Person B: Nah, he just went to take a dump.
Person A: Oh, so he's doing a simulated blumpkin?
Person B: Yup...
by evilleppy June 13, 2020
by BFUCKINWAIT and Jesus November 28, 2009
by DHalla November 27, 2010
A real fly ass homie who you cant find any other words to describe, cause they are both your cousin and your dad. Usually within the confines of a trailer park or hobo shanty village.
by amanblah December 09, 2018
While not ideal, Brian could not pass up the chance to receive a Rustic Blumpkin during an emergency deuce at the country festival porta potty by a townie.
by TheUrbanSombrero August 03, 2019
The male drinks a whole bottle of hot sauce, then when his stomach gets ready to explode the girl fills her mouth with jalapeño peppers and blows him while he's shitting, making sure to pay attention to his dickhole.
Me: Larry why are you walking so funny?
Larry: My girlfriend gave me a Devil's Blumpkin last night and I'm burning through my dickhole to my asshole.
Larry: My girlfriend gave me a Devil's Blumpkin last night and I'm burning through my dickhole to my asshole.
by Tickleroftaints March 05, 2022
by Bigdicktony69 April 28, 2021