You: "Dude, The Beatles are awesome."
Me: "Yeah, I know. Jesus said the same thing to me the other day but i prefer Slipknot."
Me: "Yeah, I know. Jesus said the same thing to me the other day but i prefer Slipknot."
by dark countess July 30, 2012
Get the Jesus mug.A Hispanic guy who usually just does the same thing everyday. Jesus's tend to eat a lot when bored. There preferred food are: Hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, waffles, scrambled eggs. You can tell when a Jesus has been in the kitchen if you find butter knives, random jelly spots, an empty cup ready for whenever Jesus wants water.
by That one guy DD February 11, 2014
Get the Jesus mug.gonna be the guy who's gonna fuck up your life because you're gonna give into his mind games and shit like that. all he wants to do with you is fuck, fuck, and fuck because he's always bored and has no one to hangout with. basically a MAN HOE...
my life was going great until jesus started talking to me. yeah it was cool and shit since he kissed me, but later i found out he's hoeing around with other girls and flirting with anyone who gets in his way...
by life is hard bc of guys April 8, 2019
Get the jesus mug.coined the term "amen" after creating the practice of baptism where he dunks people's heads into water and stares at their ass. jesus is a lgbtqa+ icon therefore he is a lesbian protector and a great appreciator of men ass.
by shits on the grass you touch May 11, 2021
Get the jesus mug.The guy who’s Mexican but looks black and says the n word. When you put glasses on him he looks like Winston, and often smells like stinky toes.
“Yo is that my boi Jesus!!!!”
J: “Ayyyyee my nig!”
“Smells like up stinky toes”
J: “what’s up stinky toes?!”
J: “Ayyyyee my nig!”
“Smells like up stinky toes”
J: “what’s up stinky toes?!”
by Zzz Mexican June 15, 2018
Get the Jesus mug.Developed from the Old Persian "Yazhus", meaning "Anal Lord".
From ~1500BCE to ~60AD the Middle East was ruled by "Zgenhhus" - heterosexual Kings who spread their empire by impregnating hundreds, sometimes thousands of women in a lifetime.
The famous Jesus Christ (Yashua Bin Josef) was supposed to be the next in the natural line of these, as governed by the Magi, or Wise Men.
However, being agressively homosexual, he instead gained the nickname "Yazhus" (Anal Lord) and discontinued this line, causing thousands of years of worldwide war.
Historical experts agree that the reason of his terrible execution is not because of his flamboyent speeches. It is actually because he broke into the Roman ranks often and paraded around wearing nothing but a crown of psychoactive plants on his head, tricking the soldiers into being drug-induced rape victims.
From ~1500BCE to ~60AD the Middle East was ruled by "Zgenhhus" - heterosexual Kings who spread their empire by impregnating hundreds, sometimes thousands of women in a lifetime.
The famous Jesus Christ (Yashua Bin Josef) was supposed to be the next in the natural line of these, as governed by the Magi, or Wise Men.
However, being agressively homosexual, he instead gained the nickname "Yazhus" (Anal Lord) and discontinued this line, causing thousands of years of worldwide war.
Historical experts agree that the reason of his terrible execution is not because of his flamboyent speeches. It is actually because he broke into the Roman ranks often and paraded around wearing nothing but a crown of psychoactive plants on his head, tricking the soldiers into being drug-induced rape victims.
by Christian Sur July 31, 2008
Get the jesus mug.Jesus is a Hispanic name, meaning he is the best man you could ever have in your life.Jesus is caring and is loyal.
Hey Jesus I love you
by Lizzzzzieeeee April 14, 2019
Get the Jesus mug.