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Chelski

Vladimir Putin's Premiereship team, the Moscow Blues, otherwise known as Chelsea. He owns them through Roman Abramovich, who claims to be the caretaker of this historic club, which is an outright lie because 1) Putin owns it by proxy and 2) Chelsea had no history before Putin bought one for them.

They currently had their assets frozen because their real owner decided that while he owns Chelski, he really wants a team with a real history, so while he's trying to annex Ukraine he's also trying to steal Dynamo Kyiv. When this whole mess is over the FA should send Chelski to Moscow (or maybe St Petersburg) where they belong and they can establish a rivalry with Spartak. That's if they don't get relegated to the Championship (where they really, really belong). Without being able to buy players every year they will eventually be in League One, they haven't developed a player in decades and will not be able to start now.

95% of their supporters have only been fans since the early 2000s and get all their football knowledge from FIFA video games; the other 5% have been deluded into thinking they are other than a crap club that would still be crap if it weren't for big daddy Putin.
Chelski fan: We've been the best team in the Premiereship over the last 20 years.
Gooner: We have 13 league titles and we did it without Russian blood money.
Chelski fan: But have you gotten 95 points in a season?
Gooner: We've done better, have you ever gone through a season undefeated? You know, like you're Invincible?
Chelski fan: 95 points is better.
Gooner: You got 95 points with an insecure little bus parking douchebag at the helm and Russian blood money, we were Invincible with a class act as manager and playing by the rules...now go back to League One were you belong!!!
by Moscow Blues March 10, 2022
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Chels

Chels is the most gorgeous loving perfect pretty and cute person you will meet, they will bright up everything dull and will care for you forever, never lose them
Chels always looks so good!

I wish I could be like Chels they’re so amazing
by mei.1212 February 28, 2023
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Related Words

Chelsea Smile

Placing a credit card into a persons mouth and then either stabbing them in the stomach or kicking them in the nuts causing them to scream.

Them screaming causes the the credit card to slice the sides of the lips creating a clown smile.
I gave that cunt a fuckin' chelsea smile for fuckin' me wife.
by Bilbin July 13, 2009
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Chelsey

A soulless ginger who dosen't like to shower. Often referred to as "wookie" or "chewbaccian," she looks to take over the world with her kind. Don't let her looks trick you, she killed Prince Castian, (the king's only son) and blamed countless people for it. She's also a fork. Not yet a spork.. not yet.
Chelsey, do you remember when I killed a hundred evil mountain dwarves for you?
by the blue freak February 15, 2013
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Chelsea FC

An English Team based in London.

1. Have no talent.
2. Win games with luck.
3. Overjoy themselves by beating teams like Arsenal and Liverpool and lose the premierleague at the end.
4. Have a great coach.
5. He is sometimes arrogant but so r other managers
6. Compared to Manchester United they are just a bunch of twats.
7. Supported by blue bastards who think they could rule the world
8. A team that rapes the referee and demand a fucking blow job.
9. And to sum it up they SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Manchester United rules.
Yes Red forever and ever
We rule and u cant stop us
The more u hate us the more we'll stick it up ur ass and prove u wrong
Manchester United-always look on the bright side of life-sheer class.
by Glory Glory Man United June 19, 2005
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chelsea

a really sexy blonde girl with blue eyes, a tight ass and a nice rack.
by george<3 February 20, 2009
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Chelsey Mills

The best girlfriend anyone could ask for. A smart, resilient, oh-so-sexy, hilarious, witty girl who can make anything happen. The girl every guy is after but none can get because she's always taken. Chelsey is the best dicker oner.
that girl is fucking banging, she looks like a Chelsey Mills.
by Yogi bear an booboo July 25, 2010
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