retrograde

Adjective
- refers to movement occuring in a backward direction

Noun
- a person who believes the adversity in their lives is caused by the retrograde motion of planetary bodies, esp. citing Mercury as a scapegoat.
- somebody who believes in New Age bullshit; a hippy

"boohoo, i spilled bongwater all over my vegan Spamwich for the second time today. You guys, is Mercury in like, retrograde... or something?"

"my old lady always has the perfect excuse for causing drama; she's a total retrograde."

"Don't be fooled by her appearance. She may dress like she's homeless, but she's just a retrograde."

by wordherder November 11, 2013

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reproduction

1. when two beings come together to make a smaller, louder, and more annoying being that will eventually grow up to do the same thing -perpetuating a disgusting and neverending cycle of filth.
2. something ugly people should never find out about.

it is very fortunate that rosie o'donnell is a lesbian; she is one fewer atrocity that will consider reproduction.

by skips August 22, 2003

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Mercury retrograde

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst moaning one or more human beings' names. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy, fruitful, and beneficial times to come

As the sun sank down over the pier, the children who were out fishing gazed in horror as the lord lard-ass on his flat bottom boat sent the lakeshore into his own mercury retrograde

by ♥🗺☠ June 4, 2021

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Retrosexual Woman

A Retrosexual Woman is a female who revels in 1940's style femininity--and abhors the coarseness of feminisim. Her stock in trade is an intoxicating combination of soft-spoken elegance, smoldering sensuality, and an air of wide-eyed innocence that most men cannot resist.

Armed with nothing more than a summer dress, a shy wink and a smile, a Retrosexual Woman never needs to pump her own gas or buy her own drink. At home she is a domestic diva who exudes a wholesome sensuality that is alluring no matter how she dresses or what she does. Always modest and wholesome, she is no harlot. But when she finally does take a man to her boudoir, she holds nothing back. He will be captivated by her love forever.

Femisinists sometimes (incorrectly) despise retrosexual females as totally subservient to and dependant on men the men in their lives. But a closer look soon reveals that it is the men who are serving the Retrosexual Woman. When the retrosexual female marries, her husband worships her and often spends his evenings joyfully rubbing her feet or massaging her neck.

Susan never gets a traffic ticket no matter how fast she drives. She just smiles and winks at the officer, and he lets her go. It just isn't fair. She is such a Retrosexual Woman.

by Hot Lips Hannah August 10, 2010

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