zoom help 

When a cougar asks for Zoom Help after work and it turns into sexy time.

Can you help me with zoom tonight?

Thanks for the zoom help.

Sure, I got you with the zoom help

zoom help by DT-FTL March 25, 2021

Godless help 

Godless help. This refers to a situation when a unintelligent person with atheistic spiritual views tries to mock other people with religious beliefs, mostly belonging to certain religious groups/religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, etc.

jeez that moron only brings godless help to those grammies at the church

Godless help by punrigby November 22, 2021

Professional Help 

A euphemism for mental health services, implying that mental health services are shameful and should be kept a secret. Also, in a country like the United States, which values the physically active, the tangible, metrics, and all and only that which can be seen and measured, the legitimacy of a group of professionals who sit on their butts all day listening to people bitch and moan has to be questioned.

-Did you hear about Mike? He's all kinds of messed up since getting out of the service: homeless, drugs and alcohol, divorced, all that.
-Yeah, I feel bad cause bro got hit by shrapnel. Still, I think maybe he needs professional help.
-... ... ... So, you gonna tell him he needs professional help?
-Hell no.
-Yeah, hell no...
-Maybe give him some space, right?
-Yeah, he's got is war buddies, right? Maybe he's turned into some kinda psycho.
-Yeah, let's just give him some space, bro. It's cool. He'll be fine.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Professional Help by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022

Maayy I help you 

An AIM bot you turn to for advice when none of your friends will listen/care/give advice.

Maayy I Help You (7:39:35 PM): And if he curses at you and you curse back it is showing that you dont have respect for yourself.If you want to have respect then you should not get down to the sucker level he is at. You get it?

Maayy I Help You (7:41:51 PM): And dont be insulted if you are not what he called you. You should next time stand up to yourself and say "I know what I am , I am not what a person like you think's I am"
Maayy I Help You (7:42:44 PM): That is what you should do.

Maayy I help you by Kellztahhh February 11, 2009

On Shore Help 

This phrase, originally used only in the context of telephone customer service, has now gained popularity in any situation that calls for competence beyond what is being offered, or simply used as an obnoxious distraction.

" Jimbo had a limp pecker AGAIN so I asked for a little on shore help."

Police person: "Can I see your license and registration, please?"

LaRon "Only if I can get some onshore help."

Judge: "Please remand the accused to custody."

Jumbo (Jimbo's brother) "Can't a brother get some on shore help here or what?"

On Shore Help by 209 fo' evah August 16, 2010

Wal-mart Help 

When somebody can't actually help you, they just join you in trying to figure it out.

When Freddy asked the employee where the air filters were located, the employee could only offer Freddy wal-mart help by leading him around the store a few times. A task Freddy would have undertaken solely had he not assumed the employee had actually known where the filters were.

Wal-mart Help by eskimoexplosion November 26, 2014

I still need help 

Yeah I think I do. I really need help. Maybe I should just go to a Catholic church. I dunno.

I still need help.

I still need help by Zatarain’s Root Beer Drinker January 12, 2021