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Schroedingers Cardinal

The tendency of the Arizona Cardinals to look good only to be absolute garbage when people start to consider them as contenders.
Person 1: Hey, did you see the 1-11-1 Lions absolutely murder the Cardinals?
Person 2: Typical Schroedingers Cardinal
by nocturne32100 December 19, 2021
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Schroedingers foreskin

A Moyle and a baby are trapped in a box. You don't know if the baby has been circumcised or not.
Dude this job interview has got me feeling like schroedingers foreskin.
by Skebopfartcum September 20, 2023
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Schrödinger's Company

Schrödinger's company is an experiment in small business, often described as a paradox. The experiment presents a company that might be alive or dead, depending on multiple unknowns.

Much like subatomic particles living in a state of quantum superposition, small companies can exist in a strange state of economic superposition. This superposition undergoes collapse into a definite state only at the exact moment someone looks at the company bank account.

The experiment goes like this...

An employee is confined and caged to their work area (for example, chained to their desk). The worker's paycheck comes from an unstable bank account that decays at some unknown rate. With each pay period, the worker has no idea if payment will arrive or not. Word from management may be that the company is making money and/or is well funded. It may be said that there is money in the company account but that unseen forces are not allowing that money to be accessed. Despite everything being fine, the employee is rarely paid on time or in full. This leaves the employee struggling to determine if the company is in business or out of business.

Schrödinger's company poses the question: when does this superposition stop existing as a mixture of states and become one or the other?

The Copenhagen interpretation of economic meltdown implies that the company is considered to be simultaneously in business and out of business until an observer performs a wave function collapsing hopes and dreams into reality.

It has been observed in practice that most workers can tolerate up to 8 weeks without payment. In a standard bell curve fashion, around 10% of employees barely notice not getting paid while around 10% snap and go postal. Everyone else maintains somewhere between apathy and financial frustration.
Worker 1: If we don't get paid next time, I'm going to ask to be laid off again. Last time they said no but I won't give up so easily this time.

Worker 2: We're only one month behind. That's not bad. Some guys haven't been paid in three months.

Worker 1: Dude, are we even in business still?!? No one comes to work anymore except us... and f--- this. It's almost noon. I'm leaving.

Worker 2: I hear you. This place fits all the signs of Schrödinger's company. Someone with half a brain needs to look at our books, sac up, and end this misery.
by MrCoder June 25, 2009
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schrödinger's fap

A fap that is not witnessed by a second party.
A fap either did or did not occur due to quantum entanglement - schrödinger's fap
by Fausnaught April 7, 2015
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Schrodinger's Face

When you're making out with a girl with a paper bag on her head, but you are uncertain as to what her face really looks like. This means her face is both beautiful and ugly at the same time.
Bro 1: I banged a chick last night, but someone had put a bag over her head.
Bro 2: Dude, you totally banged a chick with Schrodinger's Face.
Bro 1: Luckily I never took the bag off, so I'm going to assume she was decent.
Bro 2: Though it's equally likely she could have been fugly.
by Radnen June 25, 2015
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Schrödingers Gay

Schrödingers Gay is a way of describing a situation where you don't know the exact gender of a certain person you are dating.
This term is derived from the famous experiment "Schrödingers Cat"
A: I got a really hot tinder date tonight!
B: But remeber "Schrödingers Gay" and make sure she is a girl before it's too late.
A: Thanks, bro.
by Prof. Omniscient January 21, 2017
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Schrodinger's Twat

A person who is capapble of being both a knob and alright, but there's no way of knowing until you interact with them.
"I hope he's going to be alright this evening, he's a real Schrodinger's Twat."
by MrToad1984 November 9, 2017
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