table smack

when you get so mad you have to smack the damn table

me: if u say that again ima table smack
her: NO NO NO NO NO

by pd_fi January 11, 2021

Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.

"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."

by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022

table-legged

The act of attempting to level a wobbly table that has one leg shorter than the others. Usually resulting in reducing a dinner table to the height of a coffee table.

I just table-legged my haircut, (by trying to even out the ends).

by JD Too February 18, 2013

Table Kink

Having a table kink is when sexual intercourse occurs on ones table, enhancing the arousal even more due to the individuals desire to be fucked/fucking on a table

I would like to try out my table kink

by slut4urmom May 30, 2022

Pulling a Table

When you literally slam yourself into a small space ; frantically screeching - bathroom preferred, and repetitively keep doing so, even if you know you won't fit. After countless tries, you run down a staircase into a different room - knocking everything over in your path, only to end up jamming yourself on the steps.

Em : what is he doing ?
Ari : it looks as if he is pulling a table in the house !

by Jibril Grimm June 7, 2018

table nectar

When you touch an unknown substance under a table and assume it’s somthing gross but would rather believe it’s something not gross

Oh shit, I think I just touched some table nectar

by Originaldrizzle July 8, 2018

table for hov

Table for hov; When you dine alone & book a restaurant for your lonely self as your friends are non- exsistant or your group can’t decide on take away always that one friend that wants to eat at that same crusty spot, get your self a table for hov then.

Caller; Hi can I get a table for hov please?

Restaurant; You again? Of course you can you lonely fuck, mates bailed out on you again?

by LGS RAVES November 23, 2022