Safety bird

A girl you lower your standards for in order to get away with anything.

Did you hear what happened last night our Bob got home drunk and smashed chips off his girlfriend's head, thank God the a safety bird.

by ]terrydactly September 8, 2018

Safety squatter

A person who covers the toilet seat with toilet paper or other sanitary products. Usually in public restrooms.

The evidence of a safety squatter was clear, the toilet seat was covered in unused toilet paper.

by Jor_vermee April 22, 2021

Safety Glass

the 'money shot', ejaculation

ZOMG! The doggie just safety glassed all over the groomer's face... luckily the on-lookers were spared.

by Capn' Poot Poot September 8, 2011

safety

shit that does not exist in the philippines

what the fuck is safety anyways lol

by kidtrovert1 November 6, 2018

Safety

Term used in Florida means stay safe out here in these streets

Ight bro I’m boutta slide I’ll hit you later, safety.

by dee tay February 11, 2021

safety face

Giving or receiving face with protection
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If your gonna get with that hooker be sure to safety face

How was the safety face last night?

Have you had to safety face lately?

That doesn't look right maybe we should safety face
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by X!DDDD July 1, 2008

a**h**e safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019