Dead Lobster

A girl who lies still like a corpse during intercouse, making you feel like a necropheliac.

A girl who is really bad a sex, often sounding like a broken record player, often ruining your whole effort.

Man, that bitch was a dead lobster!

Dead Lobster by robstercraw January 15, 2010

douche-lobster 

Essentially a gross insult. Usually reserved for that special fucktard in your life.

Dude...you are such a douche-lobster! I dont think you could count your balls and come up with the same number twice!

douche-lobster by snark2468 December 1, 2013

chair lobster 

After long periods of sitting and readjustment a mans nuts will catch on the boxer seam and be squeezed like a grape.

You know when you sit down for a long period of time and readjust a couple different times before standing up completely. Well a chair lobster is that pinching feeling when your ballsack somehow gets weirdly stuck between a layer of boxers. When you stand up, the ballsack gets slightly pinched by a fold in the fabric.

From Reddit user /u/moparornocar

chair lobster by BurningRambo December 18, 2013

taint lobster 

a pubic crab that resides in the taint region, near the ass

Because John did not thoroughly shave his pubic area, his crabs relocated and are now considered taint lobsters.

Dude, I once gave a rim job to this chick who had some nasty ass taint lobsters.

taint lobster by ScorpGem February 11, 2015

Spread Lobster 

A sex position where the woman is up on her hands and legs with back facing the floor (similar to "crab walk")with spread legs while a man thrusts on his knees.

Hey baby, you wanna try some spread lobster tonight?

Spread Lobster by GoobSnatch August 12, 2017

sticky lobster 

When you cum in your hands and lobster walk around the room pinching people

Friend:walking around the room pinching people
Me:uh are you really being a sticky lobster right now

sticky lobster by RAWR XD Skert October 23, 2017

Full Lobster 

When someone's fury reaches such a level that they turn red and begin to produce hot sweat. If male, will occasionally get a fat, sweaty boner as well.

Dude, stop calling Tommy a testicle-shitting rectal wart..

Yeah, seriously, stop! This nigga's about to go full lobster!

Full Lobster by FattyTuna May 30, 2018