Captain's Handshake

A quite objectionable move usually performed by an intoxicated male on an unwitting female in which he slides his hand down the back of her pants, continues moving his hand past her ass and through her legs eventually reaching around frontside to grab her vagina.

The phrase is derived from the only person who could possibly get away with such an offensive action, the Captain.

Man #1: "Why did that chick slap John Paul across the face?"
Man #2: "He tried to give her the Captain's handshake"
Man #1: "Makes sense"

by The Gov'nor June 28, 2011

Captain's Brew

A mixture of semen and urine. Often created by the first urination after ejaculation. The name Captain references the euphemism for penis.

Dude, I left some Captain's Brew in that Mountain Dew bottle and my grandma drank it!

by gfs1179 August 22, 2012

Captain Salty Tea-biscuits

"Captain Salty Tea-biscuits" is what you call a Shrimp Boat Captain that is a total perv and is so high on cocaine he doesn't realized he just had his way with and Gandolphed his own father.Yeah,in the butt.

Wow! I can't believe Ron went all "Captain Salty Tea-biscuits" on his dad.Did he really Gandolph him too?

by J to the V to the L August 29, 2012

Captain Greg

Captain Gregory or commonly referred to as Captain Greg, is the historically official term, of a "doughnut". The hole in the doughnut was created by Captain Gregory when he had skewered a doughnut (with no hole) onto the spoke of his wheel of his ship, thus creating, the hole in the doughnut. Therefore, common belief suggest that the term referring to a holed doughnut should be Captain Gregory, or Captain Greg, not just doughnut.

Bob: "Hello, can I please get a Captain Greg?"
Lisa: "Sure, what kind would you like?"
Bob: "One with sprinkles please"

by Dunkin' Gregory September 27, 2017

Captain Cokeface

In the late nineties ASIO employed a leading stem cell researcher to collect and analyze the contents of a portaloo from Sydney's big day out festival. He went rogue and created the greatest test tube super villain EVER. His only let down is his sidekick known as Strawboy.

Nobody can spot the weak points of security like Captain Cokeface

by Captain Cokeface July 5, 2019

Captain Puffy

captain puffy is an amazing girl streamer and streams pretty oftenly.
go sub
twitch.tv/captainpuffy
she also is included in dreamsmp as a pirate

1: hey dude i gotta tell you something
2: hold that thought i gtg captain puffys live
1: dude that’s what i was gonna say

by jadecatmaid October 3, 2021

Captain Keyes

The Cap'n from the hit Xbox and PC game who ends up getting his head ripped of by Master Chief a.k.a. John, all that is left of the Spartan Project, When the Captain suddenly becomes an evil parasitic lifeform known as the flood.

Captain Keyes said that he may loose contant when he gets there. I believed him.

by David Lewis December 29, 2003