Captains Orders

When everything naturally goes your way because you're the shit - you order the groupies and ballers around ending the statement with "captains orders"

Nick: you need to take a hit of this dank ass shit, Captains Orders.
Aileen: but i feel stupid when i smoke 4 joints after the gravity bong :(:(:(:(:(
Lindsey: shut up and toke now bitch, its Captains Orders!!
Rachael: Captains Ooooooooooooorderrrrrrrrrrrrsss.

by USeLeSs_iDiOT July 30, 2010

captain tourettes

A term referring to a person who uses profanity or repetitive phrases so regularly, it appears they have tourettes.

John swore so often, we nicknamed him Captain Tourettes.

by wcb3 January 2, 2009

Captain Innuendo

An amazing superhero who can make anything dirty and therefore awkward and hilarious.

I met Captain Innuendo at a party once, she is absolutely perverted.

by Cuke May 18, 2005

Captain Morgan

Spiced Rum. Makes you yak like crazy though.

'Got a little Captain in you?'

by Claire November 15, 2004

faggot captain

Leader of the local fag militia Proud warrior of the Faggot Army.

Theres the faggot captain and his crew. Maybe if we act straight they will go away...

by Butkus November 30, 2006

Captain Crunch

Some bunk ass weed sold by some cracker jack ass niggas usually contains seeds stems leaves and is dry and crunchy know to cause headaches

The homie: yo this nigga Nathan was tryna sell me some captain crunch it was full of seeds and hedge clippings it fell apart right when i touched it.
ME: Haha the nigga was prolly trying to scrape up some money for a decent hair cut for once haha.

by THE CAPTAIN January 6, 2014

captain fuck

Is a puke that is self important with one or more tragic character flaws. Usually these pricks pretend to be all about the war but have some piss poor excuse for not going but every reason in the world any other male might go. This type of asshole will listen to and pretend to understand rap. He will be anti-Semitic but not understand what a Jew is from a hole in the ground. He will have a real big time problem with "jack offs" despite being the worst possible kind of jack off. They also have a real problem with fat boys and take the controversial stance of being against "perverts" or "pedophiles" three times an hour. Captain fucks might also be known as one legged scuba divers if they are veterans or pretending to be veterans. Captain fucks are almost always rich boys, yuppies, red necks and/or pussy fucking old farts. A female that might act like this is not called captain fuck. She is just a cunt.

Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute from the TV show The Office are cutesy, watered down, safe for TV captain fucks.

by captain fuck May 11, 2010