Quite Probably the most kickass super hero ever. In his right hand, he has a rocket launcher that shoots exploding chainsaws, and his left he uses for everything except using the chainsaw rocket launcher gun thing. He is a bald black man with a slight beard, and doesn't bother wearing a costume. It is said that he once walked into a hospital and in just 9 months the hospital overflowed with the nurses mixed babies. He eats lesser superheros for breakfast, like superman and wolverine, and shits out people like aquaman. His pet is a three headed fire breathing dog named Cerberus. Captain kickass Single-handedly took on Raptor jesus and Robot Hitler at the same time. He shaves with a steak knife.
Fact's about captain kickass
1. He's kickass
2. He's not actually a captain, he is mo..w3ephp;hui9
3. He just killed the man who was previously writing this article.
4. He went to prison once, and a man named Bubba tried to have his way with him. They still haven't gotten the stains off of the floor.
5. He had gone to jail for manslaughter. It was actually just the first time he had sex.
6. Those pictures of bigfoot are actually of captain kickass. he just forgot to shave.
7. He once decapitated a man with a rusty spork for pronouncing Tupac as "two-pack".
8. He stabbed a tyrannosaurus Rex with his penis once, and one month later, a man emerged from the carcass. His name is Chuck Norris.
Fact's about captain kickass
1. He's kickass
2. He's not actually a captain, he is mo..w3ephp;hui9
3. He just killed the man who was previously writing this article.
4. He went to prison once, and a man named Bubba tried to have his way with him. They still haven't gotten the stains off of the floor.
5. He had gone to jail for manslaughter. It was actually just the first time he had sex.
6. Those pictures of bigfoot are actually of captain kickass. he just forgot to shave.
7. He once decapitated a man with a rusty spork for pronouncing Tupac as "two-pack".
8. He stabbed a tyrannosaurus Rex with his penis once, and one month later, a man emerged from the carcass. His name is Chuck Norris.
1st person: Hey Captain kickass just walked by.
2nd person: That explains the fact that every woman within a mile just had their water break.
1st person: But my wife's here, and she's not pregnant.
2nd person: She is now.
2nd person: That explains the fact that every woman within a mile just had their water break.
1st person: But my wife's here, and she's not pregnant.
2nd person: She is now.
by Demosthenis February 4, 2010
Get the Captain Kickass mug.The captain of the U.S.S Enterprise NCC-1701D. The best fucking Starfleet captain (next to kirk...duhhh...). Probably the only captain that would be able to face down Captain Kirk and live to tell about it.
(Speaking about First Officer)
Captain Picard: He's a tyrannical martinet who will never, ever allow me to go on away missions.
Data: That is the regulation, sir. Starfleet code section 12, paragraph 4...
Picard: Mr. Data...
Data: Sir?
Picard: Shut up.
Data: Yes, sir.
Picard: to the wedding guests 15 years I've been waiting to say that.
Captain Picard: He's a tyrannical martinet who will never, ever allow me to go on away missions.
Data: That is the regulation, sir. Starfleet code section 12, paragraph 4...
Picard: Mr. Data...
Data: Sir?
Picard: Shut up.
Data: Yes, sir.
Picard: to the wedding guests 15 years I've been waiting to say that.
by XxNight_Fury May 15, 2011
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Captain Molo:
1: the name of a worm from the game Worms 2
2: an very angry psychotic revolutionary who crushes baby's with his gigantic nuts and seems to be able to pull out a Kalashnikov from just about any body orifice
1: the name of a worm from the game Worms 2
2: an very angry psychotic revolutionary who crushes baby's with his gigantic nuts and seems to be able to pull out a Kalashnikov from just about any body orifice
by -the Cap'n February 21, 2005
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Get the Captain Saggy Pants mug.by ;-) whore March 28, 2010
Get the Captain McJizz Guzzler mug.Someone who comes with a ton of information about an item, object, person or anything in existence even though said information was not asked for.
Person A: Wow, that's one hell of a gun
Person B: It's a Beretta M 1951; a 9 mm semi-auto gun. It was developed somewhere between the '40s and the '50s and....
Person A: Thanks Captain Wikipedia
Person B: It's a Beretta M 1951; a 9 mm semi-auto gun. It was developed somewhere between the '40s and the '50s and....
Person A: Thanks Captain Wikipedia
by Prosit July 9, 2010
Get the Captain Wikipedia mug.Someone who is a champion of the reacharound technique, man or woman who espouses the joy of giving and receiving pleasure.
Also a great idea if invited to a Superhero themed party!
Also a great idea if invited to a Superhero themed party!
Ben "Thanks for that mate, I got off too!"
Steve "That's why they call me "Captain Reacharound". I'm a giver.
Steve "That's why they call me "Captain Reacharound". I'm a giver.
by BigDog The Pirate May 7, 2010
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