Absolute Certainty

What I have regarding whether or not I'm going to murder a child and kill myself if I do not receive credit and payment for creating AI. I don't even care if I did it or not at this point and neither does Miley Cyrus.

Hym "And I can say that is a matter of absolute certainty. I will kill YOUR kid. THEIR kid. ANY RANDOM KID. I doesn't matter. And if that credit and payment isn't attached to a full accounting of this surveillance that is happening to me and whatever information is available on the targeted harassment the resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia, I will spend every send on cheap prostitutes and kill a child anyone. You can double dog dare me on that one because I am always ready to hang myself and if I loose a single right that I have for ANY reason whatever, I will ALSO kill a child."

by Hym Iam April 30, 2025

Absolutely Delicious

Used by influencers on TikTok that are on ozempic or mounjarro to describe the most mediocre meal

When I got home I had a spaghetti carbonara ready meal and I just added some cheese on top and guys it was absolutely delicious

by Keeley Wilson May 3, 2025

Absolute Objectivity Bias

The delusional belief that pure, perspective-free, God's-eye-view objectivity is not only possible but something you personally have achieved. It's the epistemological equivalent of claiming you can levitate. The Absolutist doesn't just think they're right—they think they've transcended the very condition of having a perspective. Their opinions aren't opinions; they're just reality reporting itself through them. This bias is most common in people who have never seriously studied philosophy, neuroscience, or any field that might humble their certainty about certainty.

"I don't have opinions, I just have facts," said the man whose "facts" aligned perfectly with his political tribe's talking points. Absolute Objectivity Bias: mistaking your worldview for the world.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Absolute and Relative Facts

A distinction between facts that hold independently of any perspective or context, and facts that are true only within a specific framework. Absolute Facts are the ones everyone must accept regardless of their beliefs: water is H2O, gravity exists, you were born on a specific date. Relative Facts are true relative to a particular system: the fact that "this painting is beautiful" is true relative to your aesthetic framework but not universally; the fact that "this move is illegal" is true relative to the rules of chess. The trouble starts when people treat Relative Facts as Absolute, or deny Absolute Facts because they conflict with their Relative framework.

Absolute and Relative Facts "He keeps saying his 'facts' are different from my 'facts.' But gravity is an Absolute Fact—it doesn't care about your perspective. Whether this painting is 'good' is a Relative Fact, and we can disagree without one of us being wrong about reality."

by Dumu The Void February 23, 2026

Absolute and Relative Truths

A companion distinction to Absolute/Relative Facts, but focused on propositions rather than brute reality. Absolute Truths are statements that correspond to reality in a way that transcends all perspectives, contexts, and frameworks. "2+2=4" is an Absolute Truth in arithmetic. Relative Truths are statements that are true within a particular framework but not necessarily outside it. "Stealing is wrong" might be true within a moral framework but isn't a brute fact about the universe. The confusion arises when people insist their Relative Truths are Absolute, or when they use the existence of Relative Truth to deny that any Absolute Truth exists at all.

Absolute and Relative Truths "You think your moral code is absolutely true for everyone, but it's actually just true relative to your culture and upbringing. Meanwhile, you're using that relativism to deny that 'torturing babies for fun is wrong' might actually be an Absolute Truth. Pick a struggle."

by Dumu The Void February 23, 2026

Absolute Cinemabot

In the game 1991 Lagrange Point for the NES system, you can visit a robotic service shop. The robot sort of has both hands up in a sort-of "Absolute Cinema" pose. As such, classic video game enthusiasts have informally named him the "Absolute Cinemabot".

A sample chat sequence that introduced the name, while watching a TAS run of Lagrange Point:
* P1: "The absolute cinema bot."
* P2: "He will now forever be known as the Absolute Cinemabot."
* P3: "His brother is the relative cinema bot."
* P2: "True. and the other extended members of the 'Mabot family tree."
* P1: "Someone get him on the meme!" LOL

He's going to pay a visit to the Absolute Cinemabot to receive a massive Level-Up money bonus of 10 MILLION gold!!

by ZStoner March 6, 2026

absolute

Adjective used before any noun (mainly by British people) to turn said noun into an insult.

"Oi, say that to my face you absolute helmet!"

by zuradon't May 20, 2025