Craigslist Penis Effect 

Personal success philosophy based on the observations that

a) any g-rated women-seeking-men Craigslist ad will be met with dozens and dozens of e-mails that are just penis pics, and

b) a "real" email will automatically be better received than the penises.

The wisdom of observation is that a little effort will automatically put you ahead of all the idiots. From personal finance blogger Ramit Sethi.

According to the Craigslist Penis Effect, wearing khakis, not sweatpants, to the fleamarket will make you super stylish by comparison.

Craigslist Penis Effect by Shanthrax138 February 18, 2010

I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building 

An expression of extreme disgust over a proposed course of action. First uttered in the movie, "The Fan," by John Leguizamo.

"Baby, let's go antiques shopping this weekend."

"I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building."

I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building by Artie D. May 1, 2006

online penis

a penis you can draw online.

8--->


the online penis!

online penis by autumn peters. March 3, 2009

gnarled penis 

The kind of penis that Clay from Sons of Anarchy has, with which he uses to fuck various members of the motorcycle club.

Really thick, twisted, veiny, just kinda gnarrrrled. Looks like a gnarled treestump, or perhaps that it got halfway through a paper shredder then it got ripped out. Could be mistaken for a wonky tree root, or a dusty burlap sack. Most often flaccid, the gnarled penis can become violent and unpredictable when erect, leading to either highly awkward or highly violent encounters, depending upon the owner of the gnarled penis in question.

First appears in Season 2 Episode 4: Clay pulls out his gnarled penis to show the dirty Mexicans he means business. Later on in this season, he threatens Gemma to suck on his gnarled penis if she doesn't hand over the letters that Tara has, which incriminate him in John Teller's murder.

(Said in a gruff, Clay-like voice): "Gemma, you don't gimme those letters, you gonna hafta suck on mah gnaarrrllled penis. You hear me, bitch? mah gnarled penis"

gnarled penis by jayfinator December 15, 2011

flying penis

What some people call a Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopter (the kind with no tailboom and two sets of main rotor blades located fore & aft) because it looks like a big ding-a-ling flying through the sky.

Hey Dennis, check out the flying penis near those buildings over there!!!

flying penis by Telephony September 28, 2013

tiger penis 

1. Dried, ground tiger penis, taken orally in the mistaken belief that it will increase one's virility, especially in the Orient.

2. Any substance whose purported benefits are wholly unsubstantiated, and whose use can generally be traced to tradition rather than reason. See rhino horn,Extenze.

3. More generally, any belief, system of beliefs, or practice whose efficacy is derived solely from the placebo effect. See homeopathy, reflexology, astrology.

1. While traveling in Shanghai, John visited the local apothecary for a tincture of tiger penis, in anticipation of his planned prurient pleasures.

2. Dave bought some Extenze after watching an infomercial; alas, it was mere tiger penis and his dreams of turgidity were shattered.

3. Years of backbreaking labor on the ozymandian islands of Dubai compelled Wayne to seek relief in the tiger penis offered by the local alternative medicine establishment, whose treatments' lack of salubrious effects can be traced to Wayne's rationalism.

tiger penis by John W. Roberts January 26, 2009

car / penis theorem 

The relation between car size and penis size. The car / penis theorem denotes the relationship between a vehicle owned by a male and the size of his sexual organ. As the size and overall cost of the vehicle increases, the average penis size of that vehicle's owners decreases in a linear fashion.

For example, according to the car / penis theorem, a man who's car is a 1992 Honda Civic (assuming that it isn't riced up) should have a penis size of approximately 7 inches erect. On the other end of the scale, the average male Lamborghini owner has an erect penis length of about 3 inches.

car / penis theorem by Qbou3mT March 6, 2015