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John Augustoni

Fat Retard who lied about multiple d1 scholarships and pointed and laughed at by everyone, bullied to the point of suicide.
Have you seen John Augustoni recently?
You mean the fat retard? Hes over there
Why are people Laughing and pointing?
Cuz hes a fat retard
by matuuey April 15, 2022
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John

John is an idiot. He sucks at Minecraft. He’s cool though. He can make some good toast. And has cool dogs. His music taste is kinda trash tho. If you know a John, he is cool. Be friends with him. Don’t get to close tho, they are known to bite when crowded. lol.
Guy 1: “Have you met John?”
Guy 2:”No.”
by Swordsman891 October 27, 2020
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john sevi

the dumbest boy you’ll ever meet, thicc, retarded, a bitch, a snack
masha and tia: yo that guy is such a john sevi
dunne: DONT TALK ABOUT MY FAG LIKE THAT
by faggot6942069 November 16, 2019
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Johns

Past tense: Johned

Plural: Johns
Present tense: Johning

Usually used in video game terms; mostly Super Smash Bros., an excuse. When you are losing, or before you’re losing; pre-johning. E.g., if you think the lighting is too low, or if you spilt coffee on your shirt in the morning; excuses.
“No, I only lost because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. And I also stepped on a Lego!”
“Those are Johns, definitely. You’re just having a skill issue right now”
by MToque May 14, 2025
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johning

Johning is the act of making excuses for your loss upon losing a game, the most popular explanation being a "faulty" controller. It's most commonly seen among Smash Brothers and FPS (CoD, Valorant, OW, etc) gamers. Someone who frequently johns after a game is called a john, Mr. John or simply John. See also "Salty".
An example of johning:

(Player 1 attempts to perform a recovery but fails miserably, ending the match)

Player 2: Ha! I won fair and square!
Player 1: Dude, my controller was definitely faulty. Those buttons were sticky, thats why I didn't get my up special.
Player 2: You're blatantly johning, were you even *trying* to recover?
by HecatiaLapisLazvli October 4, 2024
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John Barry

Someone who loves elf bars, naps, gg bulot, Nazi propaganda, freshmen, whippets, and taking care of drunk girls at parties.
“Have you seen that John Barry over there? He loves being a bad boy😍.”
by playboyxo January 15, 2024
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Withered John

Used as a verb as a synonym for laughing. When you use this, it means the joke told was really funny.
Haha! That joke just made me Withered John.
by gumballfan1 October 27, 2025
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