sloppy john 

When your chick puts a gob of rubbing vasoline in her mouth and then slobbers it all over your dick. She then proceeds to give you a nasty handjob.

My chick just gave me the nastiest sloppy john last night.

sloppy john by NotoriousK30304 December 11, 2013

dingle-john 

When your cell phone rings in your back pocket and because of the precise positioning of the phone in your pocket and the correct ring mode of vibrate and the exact genre of underwear, a pleasing vibration of the scrotum occurs.

Dude, did you just call me?

Yeah.

It produced a wonderful dingle-john.

Oh Yeah?

Thank You.

dingle-john by Dinglebob Dentist March 25, 2008

Original John 

(verb) To drink bourbon and smoke a pipe while playing monopoly. Usually includes sorting opposing players into Hogwarts Houses.

"Hey you guys want to go out tonight, drink some vodka and try to pick up girls at The Club?"

"Definitely not, let's Original John it tonight."

Original John by Mayja Layza April 23, 2013

futon john 

A douche that likes to remind every person he meets that he was conceived on a futon.

Kid 1: "Have you met Futon John?"

Kid 2: "No, but I heard he was a douche."

Kid 3: "I heard he was conceived on a futon."

Kid 1: "I wish I was conceived on a futon."

futon john by Dubya14 November 25, 2013

Lawn John 

A rare scenerio in which a neighbor plants flowers in a toilet bowl outside of their house for decoration and someone goes over (typically after midnight) to defacate uncontrollably in it for the homeowner to find it the next day.

see also: lawn John silver, flower plop, a steamy Brian, fertile terdle, house warming gift, midnight special.

"Man, that guy is a legend! He executed the rare Lawn John last night!"

Lawn John by sneakyle June 21, 2017

mary john 

the oral act of eating a pot brownie out of ones anus.

“wait robert you guys have been dating for 4 months and you haven’t mary johned yet?”

mary john by wobert r January 6, 2018

ty’john 

A good looking light skin/Brown skinned man that will steal your heart. They are more loyal then most of these men out here and knows how to treat woman right. They are also better in bed and amazing kissers.

You need a Ty’John in your life they are loyal.

ty’john by Boss man 314 January 17, 2018