honorary jew

An honorary member of the Jewish brethren. Usually awarded to someone who grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood, knows what a dreidel, kippa, bubbie and zaide are. Chews Bazooka Joe gum. Jealous they didn't get to build a tent in their back yard for Sukoot or celebrate a Bar Mitzvah. Frequently says stuff like "Oy! It took a lot of chutzpah for me to show him what's what. Mazel tov!"

Jameel was awarded his honorary jew status with a kippa ceremony.

by Allison March 22, 2004

the jew claw

a running joke from the ali g show. borat is terribly prejudiced against women, minorities and the like, but most of all, against jews. in one episode of the show (Borat's Guide to America) he interviews a martial arts instructor and first asks what to do if a "chocolate-faced" person comes and attacks you. the instructor really doesn't know what to say, but tells borat that in America, people try not to judge by skin tone. next, he asks how to protect himself from jewish people - what do you do if they try to hurt you with their horns? or even worse - THE JEW CLAW?

borat: "now, what if the jew, he comes after you, with his dirty jew claw?" *raises hand, shapes into claw, gestures*
instructor dude: "well...you just knock it away."
b: "what about, double the jew claw? *raises both hands*"
instructor: "...double knock-it-away..."
b: "ah. *attacks instructor with simulated claw, promptly gets beaten*"

by ali g's girl May 2, 2006

jew lord

A jew who thinks that he is better than everyone else. He commands people and doesn't ask nicely.

Joe: Get me a soda.
Bill: No mother fucking jew lord!
Joe: I said get me a fuck'n soda. Do I need to resort to violence?
Bill: Ok... I'll get your soda

by whatthesmoke March 2, 2008

scooby jew

The Israeli variant of the popular animated television series, Scooby Doo, although it was banned in 1998, Scooby Jew's main characters (raggy and scooby jew) carried on their roles in the less popular spin off "What's new scooby jew"

Ahmed: "i watched scooby jew last night"
john: " thats just a cheap rip off and racist pun of scooby doo"
Ahmed: "meh"

by atomiclard December 16, 2008

closet jew

A person that is afraid to come out of the closet b/c they might get cut out from their family's wealth or they might be killed due to being gay.

Bret: Whats the deal with that Frankie Fernandez kid?
Peter: idk he's rich as hell and he dresses like a fuckin homo.
Taylor: He's a closet jew, hes afraid that his parents will cut him off.

by Poopstain6971 May 2, 2008

jew for jesus

A jew for jesus is a Christian.

An example of a jew for jesus is Jesus.

by briefandtothepoint September 30, 2006

Cosmic Jew

Cosmic Jew, a Jew with Cosmic powers. He is the result in a unplanned pregancy that a certain mighty being forgot to put on a condom.

Cosmic Jew can turn water into wine, walk on water, heal others, listen to you telepathicly tell him that he is your savior, and become a zombie. Cosmic Jew has a very high pain tolerance consdering a bunch of Jews nailed him to some wood.

It is important to know that Cosmic Jew is part cyborg, part ninja, part pirate, part viking, and part zombie. He is also is a black belt in karate and kicks ass.

Moses: "I am a prophet of god, I will teach you his ways."
Cosmic Jew :"Lol you might be a prophet but I'm his son. Suck it."

Person: "Jesus is Moses v.2.0"

Cosmic Jew: "Brb, being crucified."

by Cosmic Jew May 21, 2009