watering the goats

1. A random out of context excuse given to get away from someone as fast as possible,

2. Jerking it to softcore Polish pornography
3. A combination of both above definitions.

"Timmy, Go do your homework!!!"---"No Mom, I'm watering the goats!!"

"Hey dude, wanna come hang out with us?"
-"Nah i got some stuff to do"
"like what?"
-"Err.. I gotta go water the goats"

by damnitfred August 23, 2010

brazilian wandering spider

Brazilian wandering spider is the name used to describe any spider of the genus phoneutria. There are five in total, and they are large hairy spindly-looking spiders with leg-spans which can reach up to 5 inches or more. Two pairs of their eight eyes are large, and they do not make webs, instead go hunting for prey. This can cause problems, as they have the most active venom of any living spiders. One of their number, the Brazilian Huntsman, is thought to be the most venomous spider in the world. Brazilian wandering spiders are certainly dangerous, bite more people than any other spiders. They are fast-moving, their legs are strong and spiny and they have destinctive red jaws which they display when angered. These spiders are quite capable of jumping onto a broom used to fend them off, can also leap out of banana bunches carried over the shoulder and bite whoever is carrying the fruit. One species, the Brazilian Armed Spider, is quite amazingly aggressive and has the largest venom glands of any spider. Since the introduction of anti-toxins, there have been few recorded fatalities, and finding one of these spiders in imported fruit is unlikely what with modern safety precautions. the name Brazilian wandering spider is actually inaccurate, as these spiders are found all over South America.

It's worth pointing out that a Brazilian wandering spider is not a tarantula. They're not even in the same family group. Tarantulas are harmless to humans, are mostly ambush killers who wait for prey to come to them. Brazilian wandering spiders are active hunters. Brazilian wandering spiders and tarantulas do have one thing in common, however. They don't eat bananas. I'm quite amazed people think this is the case.

by StormSworder August 16, 2006

Great Wakering

The frantic search for something to read on the toilet when you're about to go.

I desperately had to go to the bathroom, but the Great Wakering set in and I had to hold it while I looked for a book.

by MrBlonde267 June 1, 2009

watering the plants

pertaining to much much habitual sex, paralleling the chorelike and promiscuous nature of 'watering' organisms pertinent, but not limited to, the kingdoms plantae, protista, and fungi.

'gee i am so sore from so much action!'
'pshh man i wish i was watering the plants like you'

by jajamoneralover September 26, 2008

The wandering janitor

The wandering janitor is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves fucking a girl wheelbarrow style while you walk around and mop up spills on the floor with her hair.

dude i janna and i were having sex and i totally gave her the wandering janitor

by mitt greb November 6, 2007

Wandering Sock

A living sock that will explore the house when no one is home and hide itself in improbable places to find a sock.

I finaly bought a cage for my wandering sock. Last time we were out it snuck into the toaster!

by XCchamp June 17, 2009

Wandering rose

Someone who is beautiful inside, but refuses to believe it. They wander the world in search of themselves, but they really don't need to be searching. They just need to open their eyes or look in the mirror.

Other people's view: Wow what an awesome person.
Wandering rose's view: who am I, Do I have a purpose, do i matter at all?

by Dianatrics February 13, 2010