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The Onioniest Timeline

An acknowledgement that we’re living in The Darkest Timeline, where satirical article concepts and titles formerly championed by The Onion are every-day, real-life news stories.
I just saw a Fox News chyron that read “TRUMP: YOU CAN’T IMPEACH SOMEBODY ‘DOING A GREAT JOB’ “ - another poignant reminder that we’re living in the Onioniest Timeline.
by #ai August 31, 2018
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Worst Timeline

The acknowledgement that this version of the multi-verse is the standard by which all other timelines consider the worst option.
"So every Republican sprung into action to replace a feminist icon, so they can ban abortion, while the relief bill has stalled because its too generous."
"We are the worst timeline."
by Perringaiden September 22, 2020
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timelining

Using facebook to examine all the bad decisions you've made and how cool you really weren't in high school thus coming to the realization that your life is truly depressing, also because you obviously have time to dick around on facebook all day looking at your timeline.
I was timelining last night and noticed that 90% of the girls I dated are on xanax, pregnant or in jail, in no specific order.
by PorkCHOPsandwiches44 September 10, 2012
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Timeline Silencer

Someone that constantly induces silence at online communities (twitter, facebook etc.) by sharing content that is totally detached from what the majority of the audience expects.

Typical silencers include: porn, pain and pain associated with porn.
@christiansrcool says: What a beautiful morning! at 08:27

@normalguy27 says: Damn! Burnt my pancakes again. at 08:28

@ timeline silencer says: Crime took my face. It forgot to take my knives. I´m coming for you! at 08:31

...
...
...

@anothernormalguy says: is google out? at 08:45
by terminal1 July 8, 2010
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timeline rape

signing on to facebook and making the horrifying discovery that, despite your protests, your profile has been switched over to the new timeline.
me: "so i hear everyone's getting automatically switched to timeline over the next few weeks, whether we like it or not. this is pure timeline rape."

antoine dodson: "they's rapin' errybody out here!"
by MalaMackice August 8, 2012
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timeless sex

sex that is so good that you lose all track of time.
It could have 10 minutes or an hour.
you don't know.
I had timeless sex with kathy.
by Deep Blue 2012 August 12, 2009
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Timelesst

An individual who is hated for being too cool
Timelesst is such a bitch for destroying me in that debate
by fffffsdayhadaxfadxfasd April 2, 2021
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