Calm your hemorrhoids

A term used in response to someone who is overreacting. Similar to calm down, or relax.

#1: "WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME IF I'M GOING TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH?!? I told you I'd do it!!!"

#2: "Dude, calm your hemorrhoids. I was just asking."

by Danzuki February 14, 2012

hemorrhoid

An itching of the bum or painful mass of diolated veins in swollen butthole tissue. Blood or mucus is most likely discharged

That fatty fatty boom batty over there has hemorrhoids and is bleeding out of his anus and he wants you to touch it!!

by alisha November 29, 2002

brain hemorrhoid

Like a brain hemorrhage only this leaves the person's head full of shit.

David: "Did you hear some of Clint's ideas at the seminar last night?"

Craig: "Yup. Pretty obvious he suffered another brain hemorrhoid."

by BuffDudeTotally April 16, 2014

bring your hemorrhoids

Challenge with the same aim as bring your shit that makes light of the state of the opponents' health by implying an embarrasing condition. See also bring it and terms of address.

Bring your hemorrhoids over here!

by Gumba Gumba February 27, 2004

hemorrhoid

hem-roydz

a varicose condition of the external or internal rectal veins causing painful swellings at the anus. Syn: piles.

Origin
G. haimorrhois, pl. haimorrhoides, veins likely to bleed, fr. haima, blood, + rhoia, a flow

"a pain in the ass"---OR my ex-wife

I need to go buy some more Preparation-H, my hemorrhoid wants more alamony

by buck_futter_jr June 19, 2003

hemorrhoid

a synonym for anus boils

That guys has a serious case of hemorrhoids! I'm talking those anus boils were falling out of his ass all over the place!

by Krazy K December 21, 2002

hemorrhoid tourniquet

Hemorrhoid tourniquet: trying on thong underwear and getting your hemorrhoids caught in the floss when you pull them off.

During some man-talk over beers, one of the guys explained how he tried on his girlfriend's thong during a hemorrhoid flare-up and it got really squeezed as he took them off. His beer buddy didn't miss a beat as he explained "No Pain, No Gain" and confirmed that hemorrhoid tourniquets like that were coming into vogue at old man frat parties.

by benighse November 22, 2009