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Posturbate

On Facebook, persistently attempt to steer threads in a sexual direction; continually make lewd and suggestive comments, regardless of their relevance to the original post or current tone of the thread.
Nancy: Grandma Geriatrician's birthday on Saturday. What do you get for a 90 year old???
Moira: What else could you want or need at that age?
Rhonda: Just wrap up something she already has. She's 90!!!! She won't remember if she had one or not.
Moira: Then re-wrap it and let your brother give it to her, too ... lol!
Keith: I'd like to give you a "pearl necklace" for your birthday.
Nancy: Dude, that doesn't even make sense! Go posturbate somewhere else.
by Baroness Buttercup December 12, 2010
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pesturbator

To masturbate at annoying times or places, generally disturbing others. Contraction of pest and masturbator.
*John hears faps from Jimmy's side of the room*
John: Ok Jimmy, seriously, don't be a pesturbator. You're keeping everyone up man.
by kingbumii May 6, 2015
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Passturbate

Johnny went to his room to passturbate so he could fall asleep.
by Master Zed June 5, 2016
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Pasturbate

Verb: When a navy recruit/officer really horny while flying a helicopter, crash-lands in Vietnam, gets intoxicated on alcohol, masturbates, and passes out in a Taco Bell restroom.
I crash landed in Vietnam and proceeded to pasturbate.
by Ben’s alt persona’s GF December 12, 2023
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