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northwestern

Northwestern University is a private four-year college located in Evanston, Illinois. Despite a location mere miles from Chicago, the average NU student only makes the trip downtown to get hammered drunk, usually at a concert, club, or Cubs game, although sometimes at a Chicago cultural institution like the Field Museum.

The student body is divided among three social strata. First, fraternity and sorority members that are for some reason much more popular at NU than they ever hoped to be in high school, and eager to flaunt their newfound social superiority. Second, McCormick tryhards that will never touch a drop of alcohol in their college career despite achieving lower GPAs than perpetually-wasted Comm majors. Third (and most prominently), the great unwashed mass of students who do the bare minimum classwork necessary, get drunk on weekends and wonder why they aren't hooking up with anyone without ever actually attempting a kiss.

Athletically, Northwestern's Wildcats tend to fare well in sports that only the players' relatives care about, such as women's lacrosse and tennis. Interestingly, these sports are scandal-prone. In any given year, one may find pictures of scantily-clad Northwestern female athletes wearing thongs -- of either kind -- gracing the pages of the Internet. Revenue sports (football and basketball) remain poor year after year, despite being the only events students actually care about.

Northwestern is famous for its graduates who have gone on to pursue careers in showbusiness, and many students come to NU with interests in the arts. Unfortunately only 1/100 of these students actually make money upon graduation. The rest commit suicide or become strippers.

Real classes at Northwestern (i.e., not School of Comm) are relatively difficult, as the administration tries desperately to prove the school's academic mettle by assigning too-low grades, ignoring the fact that no matter what, NU will never have a reputation on par with the Ivy League schools it strives to emulate.
Northwestern? Is that that shitty school in Boston?
by Henry S. Bienen January 6, 2008
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Northwestern sludge bomb

The act of letting a woman who has diarrhea shit on your face after you ejaculate into her anus
Man, I totally got northwestern sludge bombed by stacy the other day
by TotallyNotA_Normie January 13, 2021
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Northwestern Carwash

In a communal shower or locker room, a group of 4 (minimum) to 20 people stand nude in the shower spinning in alternating directions. The “automobile” must walk through the gauntlet while being rubbed by the nude rollers.
Hector fumbled on the 3 yard line. I know he’s upset, but he totally earned his Northwestern Carwash
by Donkeyboy32 July 9, 2023
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Northwestern

A socially-OK 4-year college just north of Chicago, IL, USA. Student body is composed of fair-to-poor athletes, dateless engineers-in-training, and those who are, for some reason, studying Radio, Television, and Film. Its women's lacrosse team is well known for its footwear. Not to put too fine a point on it: Charlotte Rae and David Schwimmer went there.
You'll laugh!
You'll cry!
You'll kiss $64K (in 1985 dollars) goodbye!
Go U! NU!
by Witness10mm August 16, 2005
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Nowster

A person that dresses kinda like a hipster, but isn't a douche.
Are you a nowster or a hipster? I guess it depends on if you're higher-than-thou or just alt-dressed.
by Nat Sel February 9, 2013
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Northwestern State University

Northwestern State University. NSU. A 4 year university located in Natchitoches, LA. Home of the Demons. The symbol of their school is a set of 3 columns left over from a plantation home that burned on the land. NSU was established in 1884. NSU is also home to a ghost by the name of Isabella. Legend tells that she lived in the plantation home that burned. Today NSU is known for its fantastic football team, and their mascot Vic was featured on Spike TV when someone recorded Vic and an opposing mascot having a fist fight during a game. When people say they went to Northwestern many people confuse it with the school located in Illinois.
I went to Northwestern State University. No, not the Northwestern in Illinois.
by Just call me Cuddles December 4, 2010
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Nervester

n.

1) refers to a person who spends too much time dating on Nerve.com raher than meeting people in "real life."
2) you can sometimes spot these persons from their "witty" profiles on Nerve.com around town, especially in the Village and on the L train.
Matilda: Juliet (RedPiper72) is a serious Nervester. She went out with HungryLad462, RedPlume71, Chomsky01, ElectricLoins66 and Beatle_Box all last week. too bad she never gets past a second date--much less a first one. Is it because she is impolite and a big drunk...or is her ass just too big? What do ya think?

Glynnis: Her ass is definitely big...but the rest is true as well.

Matilda: Yeah.
by katesherlock November 8, 2004
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