wife speaking to her husband: why is this coffee so weak, were you fucking swapping the monkey with your cup in the coffee maker again? that's it! we're getting a divorce!
by WordRepoMan January 15, 2013
Get the swapping the monkey mug.The country formerly known as FYROM only to themselves but known as Monkeydonia to everyone else due to their behaviour in current important political issues, such as land stealing, historical theft and racism.
by monkeydonia historian December 16, 2008
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Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"
Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."
OR
Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."
Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."
OR
Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."
Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
Get the Monkey Branching mug.A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
Get the Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer mug.The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.
by Ultbator August 19, 2019
Get the monkeybate mug.n. A mixed drink, similar in taste to a mudslide, but with definite coffee tones. Very tasty! Here's the recipe:
Ingredients:
2 shots Kahlua
1 shot Amaretto
1/2 cup Half-and-half
6 Ice cubes
Mixing instructions:
Add above ingrediants in a blender. Blend on high until the ice is crushed. Serve in a cocktail glass. No garnish.
A variation of the drink is called the Spunky Orangutan. For those who don't like coffee at all, replace the Kahlua with Bailey's Irish Cream. While chocolatey and without coffee bitterness of the Spunky Monkey, it also has an amazing hint of marchino cherry. Also very tasty!
Ingredients:
2 shots Kahlua
1 shot Amaretto
1/2 cup Half-and-half
6 Ice cubes
Mixing instructions:
Add above ingrediants in a blender. Blend on high until the ice is crushed. Serve in a cocktail glass. No garnish.
A variation of the drink is called the Spunky Orangutan. For those who don't like coffee at all, replace the Kahlua with Bailey's Irish Cream. While chocolatey and without coffee bitterness of the Spunky Monkey, it also has an amazing hint of marchino cherry. Also very tasty!
by Dan Weyandt April 10, 2008
Get the Spunky Monkey mug.A term used to describe the act of purposely getting incredibly drunk to the point of absolute oblivion while out (generally with the lads) for a night on the town. Usually involves the person(s) involved waking up the next day in hospital, a ditch or jail. However, the person(s) involved cannot be held accountable for any of the actions (more than likely sexual) he or she committed.
I had sex with a rather ugly woman who somewhat resembled the Loch Ness Monster last night chaps. However I cannot be held accountable for any of my actions as I was incredibly drunk. As a wise man once said, I was monkeyed off my goose.
by the people's champion 1993 March 9, 2013
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