53 definitions by Dan Weyandt

n. The highest practical ranking of those skilled in the delicate and generous arts of cunnilingus, similar to becoming a 1st Degree Black Belt in Karate (demonstratinhg mastry of all skills). This rank is superior in rank to a Wing Commander, because one achieves this rank by acquiring the wings listed below, and only the first four are required for Wing Commander. Note that one is not awarded a set of wings unless the cunniligus recipient orgasms:

Red Wings -- Cunilingus during menstration.
Yellow Wings or Gold Wings -- Cunniligus during uriniation.
White Wings -- Cunnilingus after intercourse (and ejaculation).
Brown Wings -- Cunnilingus and analingus.
Silver Wings -- Cunnilingus while airborne. Note this is similar to membership in the Mile High Club, which is earned for any sexual activity while airborne.
Sam has become very popular with the ladies, now that he is a rainbow warrior.
by Dan Weyandt November 27, 2007
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n. A government of the least competent elected by the least industrious so that the government can confiscate wealth from the dwindling competent, productive populace.
One can recognize an incompetocracy when a government hasn't passed a budget in years, boasts of its exploits using oxymorons like "lead from behind," openly demonstrates its disdain and disrespect for the serf-like governed, e.g., calling them "racist, red-necked retards," but is re-elected.

Note that an incompetocracy cannot exist without a corrupt press that refuses to expose the incompetence and corruption of said incompetocracy and assists the incompetocracy in the character assassination of those who would competently govern.
by Dan Weyandt November 26, 2012
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n. In computing, a Service-Oriented Architecture (SOA) is a flexible set of design principles used during the phases of systems development and integration. A deployed SOA-based architecture will provide a loosely-integrated suite of services that can be used within multiple business domains.

SOA also generally provides a way for consumers of services, such as web-based applications, to be aware of available SOA-based services. For example, several disparate departments within a company may develop and deploy SOA services in different implementation languages; their respective clients will benefit from a well understood, well defined interface to access them. XML is commonly used for interfacing with SOA services, though this is not required.

Service-orientation requires loose coupling of services with operating systems, and other technologies that underlie applications. SOA separates functions into distinct units, or services, which developers make accessible over a network in order to allow users to combine and reuse them in the production of applications. These services and their corresponding consumers communicate with each other by passing data in a well-defined, shared format, or by coordinating an activity between two or more services.
SOA developers associate individual SOA objects by using orchestration. In the process of orchestration the developer associates software functionality (the services) in a non-hierarchical arrangement using a software tool that contains a complete list of all available services, their characteristics, and the means to build an application utilizing these sources.
by Dan Weyandt March 31, 2010
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n. Dialect and accent used in Baltimore, especially in the Dundalk area, characterized by a nazalised "oh" vowel ("hoem" and "phoen" for "home" and "phone"), dropped consonants ("bawlamer" or "bawlmer" for "Baltimore"), and catch-phrases like "doen'cha knoe, hon."
n. A person who speaks using the dialect, and behaves in a characteristic manner, such as rabid fandom of the Baltimore Orioles, walking down the middle of the street when there is a perfectly good and clear sidewalk, eating bushels of whole soft-shelled crabs doused with Old Bay seasoning, etc.
Listen to the song "Crabs For Christmas" for a definitive rendering of Baltimoron.
Get out of the middle of the street, you Baltimoron!
by Dan Weyandt October 4, 2007
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n. In Baltimoron, this is the "home city" of Baltimore. While this is the usual spelling for the word, a more correctly phonetic spelling would be "Bawlamer." (Those of you in the Mid-West might pronounce the first "a" as a short a, and that would be incorrect.) Baltimore is frequently shortened further to "Balmer." Again, this is the accepted spelling, but a more correctly phonetic spelling would be "Bawlmer."
"Doen'cha knoe, I'm from Balamer,
'n' crabs is whut I'm eechin' feur!
Doen'cha knoe, Santa dear,
With sum cold crabs 'nd a beer,
It would be jus like a trip back to old Bal-tee-more,
Baaaaal-teeee-mooore!"
-- David DeBoy, 'Crabs For Christmas'
by Dan Weyandt April 9, 2008
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n. A mixed drink, similar in taste to a mudslide, but with definite coffee tones. Very tasty! Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
2 shots Kahlua
1 shot Amaretto
1/2 cup Half-and-half
6 Ice cubes

Mixing instructions:
Add above ingrediants in a blender. Blend on high until the ice is crushed. Serve in a cocktail glass. No garnish.

A variation of the drink is called the Spunky Orangutan. For those who don't like coffee at all, replace the Kahlua with Bailey's Irish Cream. While chocolatey and without coffee bitterness of the Spunky Monkey, it also has an amazing hint of marchino cherry. Also very tasty!
Hey barkeep! Another Spunky Monkey, please!
by Dan Weyandt April 10, 2008
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n. A mixed drink, well suited for hot summer nights. Essentially, this drink is a Whiskey Sour made with Jack Daniels, with a splash of Drambuie for a hint of honey, and a splash of Grenadine for a nice rosy color. Very tasty!

Ingredients:
2 tblsp Jack Daniels
1 tblsp Drambuie
1 dash Grenadine
1/4 cup Sweet and sour mix
1/4 cup Orange juice

Mixing instructions:
Combine all ingredients over ice in a glass.

Steve mixes an excellent Jack Frost.
by Dan Weyandt December 4, 2007
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