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Heckler and Koch

In a world of compromises, some people put the bullets in the magazine backwards…But it doesn’t matter, because our gun is on the cover of the Rainbow Six video games. Look how cool that SEAL coming out of the water looks… If you buy a $2,000 SOCOM, you will be that cool of an operator too. And chicks will dig you.

At HK, we stuck a piston on an AR15, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to about 1969. However ours is better, because we refuse to sell it to civilians. Because you suck, and we hate you.

Our XM8 is the greatest rifle ever developed. It may melt, and it doesn’t fit any accessories known to man, but that is your fault. If you were a real operator, you would love it. Once again, look at Rainbow Six, that G36 sure is cool isn’t it? Yeah, you know you want one.And by the way, check out our new HK45. We decided that humans don’t need to release the magazine with their thumbs. If you were a really manly teutonic operator, you would be able to reach the controls. Plus we’ve fired 100,000,000 rounds through one with zero malfunctions, and that was while it was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you don’t believe us, it is because you aren’t a real operator.

By the way, our cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns like the G3 and MP5 are the bestest things ever, and totally worth asinine scalpers prices, but note that cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns from other countries are commie garbage. Not that it matters, because you’re civilians, so we won’t sell them to you anyway. Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know you’ll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but you’ll come back, you always do.

Buy our stuff.

Sincerely

HK Marketing DepartmentHK. Because you suck. And we hate you.
Ze Heckler and Koch G36 did not lose eets zero, joo ah just not TEUTONIC OPERATOR eenuff to use our superior German engineering. NEIN EET EEZ NOT MELTING, ZAT IS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN.
by Hans, HK marketing. July 10, 2009
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Heckler & Koch PSG1

A semi automatic sniper rifle manufactured by Heckler & Koch GmbH of Germany. Chambered for the 7.62x51mm NATO (.308 Winchester) round, equipped with Hensoldt 6x42mm scope.
The PSG1 is widely considered the most accurate semi automatic sniper rifle in the world.
by JoeBob July 29, 2003
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Related Words

Heckler and Koch

Heckler and Koch - German firearms manufacturer started by Edmund Heckler, Theodor Koch and Alex Seidel, former Mauser engineers, in the late 1940s.

English pronounciation - Heck-ler and Kot-sh (or sometimes Koke).

German pronounciation - the letters "ch" do not sound like they do in English. "Church" is not a ch combination that the Germans ever pronounce. It is more of a chhhh that somewhat sounds like phlegm being summoned from the rear of the throat. However, Most German's say Koch as "Kot-sh".
I work for H&K USA and have to debate the name almost every week! In our branch in Sterling, VA, we all call it 'Kot-sh'.
by Micheal Trizetti November 22, 2003
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Bol Koch

behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
Just soon as she go to the bathroom, nigga I'm gon' holler at her Why? Coz I is bol koch
by BKDON September 28, 2020
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jared koch

one who is obssessed with anal sex.
See you in fifteen minutes Jared Koch, I'm off to the toilet to release a few 'Chocolate hostages' from the Rusty Sheriff's Badge.
by misshaha November 6, 2011
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Ilse Koch

Possibly the most nefarious woman in Nazi history. She was the wife of the head supervisor of the Buchenwald concentration camp, and she loved to torture and witness the murdering of the prisoners of the camp. A true sadist; I wouldn't disagree if she was found to be Hitler's long lost sister.

Her nickname was "The Bitch of Buchenwald"
Ilse Koch was a sadistic bitch
by Lady Orange 3 September 4, 2010
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Aaron koch

A god football player with the strength of 40 albino gorillas and can hit so hard he kills kids on the feild
Who just killed that fucking kid ,oh shit it was aaron koch ,damn his meat is so fat
by Fatdick29 October 28, 2017
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