wafflecide

On the morning of day two of a cross-country road trip, I stopped for breakfast at a Waffle House Resturaunt which was located on the west side of, Columbus, Ohio. I sat at the counter and was handed a menu. An older fellow sat down next to me. The waitress yelled out from the back of the kitchen,"What Yah Having Joe." Joe responded, "my usual". After Joe left I asked the waitress, "how did you know his order?" She responded, "well I better know it, he comes in every morning and has the same thing." Later that day I began thinking what eating at a Waffle House would do to a person's cardiovascular system. That is when I came up with the word, "Wafflecide". "Wafflecide," is the act of committing suicide by "Waffle House ."

After years of depression and self-loathing, Bill committed, wafflecide. The medical examiner made the determination of death upon finding the telltale signs of a Wafflecide induced, "cardiac occlusion." A "Wafflecide Induced Cardiac Occlusion," presents as a complete filling of the interior cavity of the heart muscle with an orangish fat. The fat cells form a shape that resembles a "Waffle House," waffle. Of course, with no room in the fat-filled heart for blood, the heart dies and with it the"Waffle House" sad fellow, but he loved his cheese covered waffles.

by allanrdaz May 22, 2018

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