Tear Jerker

To masturbate furiously while crying about your inability to get laid or the fact that you are just a pussy in general.

Fred struck out with all the skanks at the bar, so he went home to give himself a tear jerker.

by DWright March 30, 2007

Upside Down Siberian Tear Jerker

A sexual position requiring a bucket of ice, a gag, and some icy-hot or related substance. You must first seduce the woman by rubbing ice on her nipples for an extended period of time while she is gagged. Then you must slap her ass repeaditaly afterwards rubbing icy-hot over the previously spanked are to increase burning.

I totall gave that chick the Upside Down Siberian Tear Jerker and she cried for over 30 minutes.

by Meatless_Meatballs December 1, 2009

Tear Jerker

When you have sex with a girl with a glass eye and when you are about to blow your load you take her glass eye out ejaculate in her eye socket and put the eye back in so the glass eye forces out a tear of jizz

Man: I'm so good baby I'll make cry

Glass eyed woman: Okay but you have to clean my eye after the Tear Jerker. I hate cleaning jizz off my glass eye.

by Shogun of Skanks October 29, 2010

Tear-jerker

When the man ejaculates up the girl's nose, the semen accumulates so much that it oozes out of her tear ducts. If it doesn't ooze out right away, the man punches her in the face to induce crying.

Cory: "Oh yeah, here it comes, where do you want it?"
Topanga: "I feel like being kinky...why don't you give me a Tear-jerker?"
Cory: "Oh ya...that's SO hot."
*Cory ejaculates and makes high-pitched orgasm screeches*
*Topanga makes snorting sounds*
Cory: "Hey, it's not coming out of your eyes!"
*Cory punches Topanga in the face*
*Topanga cries cum*
Cory: "Yeah...that's better. By the way, bitch, I got AIDS."
*Topanga cries more cum*

by John, Mike, Chris, and Mr. Feeney March 30, 2008

Tearjerk

The act of masturbating whilst crying. i.e to crystabate

Tearjerk: Cracking one off during the emotional ending of Armageddon.

by Backlit Villain October 16, 2008

Ohatian Tear Jerker

Eye irritation caused by the vaginal discharge of Ohio women. Often a foamy - like discharge, it is a highly irritating secretion with a pungent suffocating odor. It’s is extremely basic and corrosive.

Go Buckeyes!

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t mean to give you an Ohatian Tear Jerker!” No, it’s my fault,” he said, tears streaming down his face, “I should have known better than to tongue punch the fart box of a Colombus native.

by CussMustard March 15, 2023

Tear jerker

Tear jerking is to masterbate while crying and using the tears as lube.

"Listen bitch, You are a cheating, lying, cum gargling swamp whore, so go home, cry your eyes out and use your tears to grease up your gristle knot while you masterbate yourself to sleep, It'll be a real tear jerker."

by Robby Martin December 6, 2006