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Irish Story

A story, usually told by one of Irish descent, that may have a clear beginning and end but takes drastic, seemingly pointless turns throughout. The story is, in all likelihood, also completely bullshit, but not necessarily. Elements of the story may also just be exaggerated for comedic or dramatic effect, leaving the story to otherwise be truthful.

Popularized by the SleepyCabin Podcast, but likely familiar to anyone of Irish descent.
SleepyCast E9

NIALL: This is how tragic my life is: My dad used to take me out fishing, and we used to go about five times each summer for years, and we never once caught a fish between us. But, like, I was so bad at it that once, I pissed my pants, and my dad was so disappointed that we didn't catch a fish and that I pissed my pants.

ZACH: Did you piss your pants because you didn't catch a fish, or were you nervous? What'd you piss your pants for?

NIALL: I just pissed my pants.

JEFF: What is it with these stories Irishmen tell? "This one time I went to the lake and...I pissed my pants, then uh...someone threw a rock at me. The end!" I don't know what it is with these stories you guys-...you and Chris are like: "This one time I was running down the road, and there was a bug, and I stepped on it, and someone...spit in my eye. I had the worst day ever because someone spit in my eye!"

STAMPER: THAT'S SO TRUE!! THAT IS SO TRUE!!! Your stories are so all over the place!

NIALL: But...if you let me finish my story, it wouldn't be so all over the fucking place!

STAMPER: IT ALREADY IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!

...

STAMPER: Oh, my God, dude, Niall. If you were a hitman, you would be like, "Alright, so I went up to the top of the bell tower...and I had the guy in my sight...and then I put my gun down and I ate a chocolate bar...and then I went back and..." It's like, what does the chocolate bar have to do with you killing somebody? THOSE ARE IRISH STORIES!!"' (Irish Story)
by munchiesnOOb September 15, 2021
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Lesbian sex story

I had just moved in with the girl of my dreams. We’d known each other for years but she never knew how in love with her I was. But now, we live together and I finally had the chance to be with her. One evening she came home to find me on the couch with only my silk robe on. I asked her how her day was and she just let out a sigh. I told her to join me so that I could give her a massage. But first, I said, maybe get a little more comfortable. She took off her jacket and shoes and I insisted she take off her shirt and pants in order to reach maximum comfort. She took off her blouse and revealed her glorious tits. And her ass in that lace underwater made my pussy wet. She came over so I could massage her shoulders, she moaned in delight. I then slowly started moving my hand up and down her arms, gently grazing her boobs. I continued massaging and slowly ran my hand up and down the curves of her body. And then, I realessed the hooks on her bra reveling her tits. “What are you doing?” She screamed as she jumped up. I grabbed her hips and pulled her close enough to hear me whisper, “I want you. All of you” I then proceeded to kiss her neck, she moaned in excitement. I knew you’d like it, I said. “Of course, you’re all I’ve thought about since we were in middle school” she said. I then ran my fingers up and down her legs gently caressing her pussy. I played with it until her lace panties were soaking wet with her sweet juices. I slowly pulled them down while kissing her legs..
lesbian sex story
I began licking her pussy, slowly to make her beg for it. I sped up. Faster, faster, faster. My tongue stiff, pounding into her. She screams. I take three fingers and shove them in and I grab her boob with my other hand. Her tits so tender, her pussy so wet. I continue to eat her out as I play with her boobs. “Oh yes. Oh yes baby. That’s it. Make me cum. MAKE ME CUM” I go harder and faster. Four finger slamming into her pussy. “OH MY GOD. IM ABOUT TO CUM” Just then squirt covers my face. Her juices fill my mouth. I kiss her until both are faces covered. She returns the favor. She begins by ripping off my silk robe and flicking my nipples. She then starts fingering my pussy. In and out. Slower and then faster. She then decides to use her tongue. Sucking and licking makes me moan with delight. “Yes baby. Yes. Give it to me. Suck my pussy real good you slut” she then looks up and at me and says, “ let’s have a little more fun” she walks to the kitchen and grabs the bottle of whipped cream. I giggle with excitement. She shakes the can and sprays whipped cream on my nipples and pussy. She begins licking it of my hard nipples and then slides down to my pussy and sucks all the whipped cream up. I pick her up and throw her onto the table and pin her arms up against the wall. I kiss her and slowly move all the way down her body. I stand up take her by the arm, walk her to my bedroom, and throw her onto the bed where we make love until we fall asleep spooning
by Jackie da bitch January 6, 2018
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Related Words

Stonyhurst College

A posh boarding school located in the North of England. At Stonyhurst, boys and girls spend their parents vast amounts of wealth at the local pub. The school has many long-standing traditions, singing the Our Father in Latin after having a several pints is one of the more popular ones.
by chundermonkey November 29, 2011
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Storytiming

derived from the genre of Youtube videos, "Storytimes". in which someone talks about their life experiences and often exaggerates many details or just completely makes the whole thing up

Storytiming is to exaggerate or dramatize a story or situation to the point where it's not remotely close to the original.
person 1:yesterday I went to the grocery store and they were selling children

person 2:boi you've got to be storytiming right now
by clowniestevakstan May 31, 2017
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Yeadon Story

1. A horrible, random story with a pointless ending. Usually starting with "One time," and ending in "it was so funny," or something along those lines.
2. A story in which the teller forgets forgets what or who he or she is talking about.
1. "One time, I saw this commercial, and it was so funny."
2. "I heard this wicked funny joke yesterday, but i forget what it was."
by RBrewer1018 May 24, 2005
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Long Story Long

When you had ATTEMPTED to tell a short version of a story but you end up telling the entire story anyway. Or if you have gone far off of the original point, and want to summize the statement. Started in Virginia Beach, by Reitzel.
Long story long, I'll be over tomorrow
by MaddWopp February 4, 2022
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a christmas story

Best, most badass Christmas movie ever made. Played over and over and over during the holidays. Characters include Ralphie, his retarded whining brother, his old man, and flakey mother. Known by a lot of people as, "the movie with the kid in the pink bunny suit" or "the movie with the leg lamp" (which is painfully obvious that ralphie wacks off to)

Ralphie: I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
ex. 1
"hey, what do you say we watch 'A Christmas Story' for the 535 time!"

ex. 2
"Want to watch Frost the Snowman?"
"That movie is for fucking panzies, lets watch a Christmas Story"
by Seinfeld March 11, 2006
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