proximity fuck

To engage in sexual relations with the person who is the nearest geographical distance to you. This usually occurs without regard for self worth.

Although Alan had been making eye contact with the fetching young woman across the bar, he decided to indiscriminately proximity fuck the less attractive, unsavory woman to his immediate right, out of ease.

Following the devastation of Tom's breakup, he went to a bar and proximity fucked the first woman he met.

by SaucyK February 6, 2012

proximity error

When in close proximity to one you care deeply about, or just purely have the raging hots for, you make insanely stupid and inexplicable mistakes.

Lori, I know I really eff'd up our dinner order...but every time I'm near you I suffer major proximity errors! I can't help it...it's what you do to me!

by jfwordsmythe December 12, 2016

Proximity alarm

A girl who has been tortured for 2+ years blindfolded who screams whenever she hears the door open.

Watch out dale my proximity alarm might go off if you open my basement door!

by Yæt January 1, 2021

Bacon Proximity Index (BPI)

How far a given human being is from fresh hot bacon. This index value is an indicator of quality of life in both first and third world countries.

the BPI is the product of a number of variables
1. distance travel needed
2. modes of travel needed
3. local, relative cost of bacon
4. time required for bacon preparation
5. quality of bacon available
6. risks to be undertaken to achieve the bacon

I'm in Denny's right now bro, my Bacon Proximity Index (BPI) is at the absolute maximum value known in the universe.

triple the bacon on my bacon sundae.

by aaron_ros April 25, 2013

The Law of Inverse Proximity

Someone living close to school/uni/work will always be later than someone living far away. The closer they live, the later they will arrive.

Lecturer: "John, how can you be late everyday? You live on campus!"
John: "It's the Law of Inverse Proximity, sir - I live so close it's physically impossible for me to get here on time!"

by tcadu vlacku June 3, 2011

proximity

The immediate area surrounding an object.

The notepad has even proximity between each horizontal line.

by scruph May 12, 2008

Distal star proximal dog

Pseudo scientific nerd lingo for a girl that looks great from far away and then ugly as hell when you get up close to her. She looks like a shining star from across the room, but up close, she makes you shudder and cringe.

One nerd: "Hey check out that babe over there across the room".

Other nerd who's seen her up close already:
"Distal star proximal dog".

by Low Class Loser June 26, 2008