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PATERNITY TEST

Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"

HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"

HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."

HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
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William Paterson University

Underrated state school in New Jersey. Better then montclair state and getting up there with rutgers.
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Peternorthing

An act of producing big amounts of semen. Popularized by a porn star Peter North in the 90s.
So anyway, I started peternorthing and Ryan was running out of cups.
by sergsCarpet August 6, 2020
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Patergobb

Patergobb (noun) / Patergobbing (verb)

Parental or otherwise paternalistic speech, intended to be friendly, affectionate, or helpful but failing to achieve any of these three desired affects. Delivered in a loving tone from someone in a senior famlial relationship to a captive and/or unwilling listener.

Speaker is often oblivious to the listener's discomfort or their actual needs.

Speaker is often a parent. But patergobbing is often done by older siblings, grandparents, aunts, or uncles. Occasionally, preists, teachers, and bosses may patergobb to others because of the percieved paternal role of their profession.

Patergobbing is not to be confused with nagging, which takes the form of complainsts and delivered in a hostile or critical tone.
Charlotte attempted to comfort her adult daughter, Emma, while Emma's husband was in the hospital. But her words descended into patergobb.

Her advice wasn't useful or relevant, her words of affection were awkward and uncomfortable, and Charlotte spoke so quickly Emma had no time to think or collect herself. Leaving Emma even more overwhelmed and upset than when she started.
by Wildlebendes June 28, 2023
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patternoster

A patternoster:

The dude who fluffs the kings balls.
The king summoned his patternoster.
" yo patternoster, come hither and fluffeth mine balls. Swass treats me fowly on this day."
by expialodotious May 21, 2010
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Paternity Test

1) - DNA test using several methods which can determine the biological parent(s) of a person. Most common methods are urine and/or blood samples, or swabbing the mouth and ears of a subject.

2) - The topic appearing on the Maury Show 3-4 days per week.

3) - What no man who had a one night stand wants to have to take.
1) - "This paternity test will determine if John is your long-lost father."

2) - See you are the father and you are not the father.

3) - Jamal- "Oh shit, I gots to take dis paternity test. I hope I ain' da father of Latrelle's nasty ass baby!"
by ACG2x October 13, 2004
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Paternity Party

A Paternity Party is a party thrown by a group of men for a friend who's about to embark on fatherhood. It's man's, "last, last hurrah."
Before I had my first child my friends threw a Paternity Party for me in Las Vegas.
by agrossman October 22, 2006
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