old slang term for sexual relations.
I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.
I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.
Hamlet: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 22, 2009
Get the country matters mug.To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Get the The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn mug.Related Words
Have you heard the misterbeastified version of "Attack of the Killer Queen" from Deltarune? It's going viral! You should misterbeastify another song too!
by Wanja01 January 18, 2023
Get the misterbeastify mug.Caleb:Your mom gay
Kyle:Your dad a lesbian
Caleb:Your granny tranny
Kyle:Your gramp tramp
Caleb:I'm sorry but you have insulted my to my boiling point and now I'm afraid I have to use a forbidden phrase upon you
Kyle:Do it pussy
Caleb:Your sister a mister
Kyle:Just fucking melts
Kyle:Your dad a lesbian
Caleb:Your granny tranny
Kyle:Your gramp tramp
Caleb:I'm sorry but you have insulted my to my boiling point and now I'm afraid I have to use a forbidden phrase upon you
Kyle:Do it pussy
Caleb:Your sister a mister
Kyle:Just fucking melts
by NippleringBitch March 15, 2018
Get the Your Sister a Mister mug.A movement to ensure that women continue to wear yoga pants to the amusement of all straight men, bi, and lesbians everywhere
I was driving down the street and I heard some dude yell "black tights matter" at some apple bottomed belles.
by von groovy April 13, 2019
Get the black tights matter mug.A reactor that runs on dark matter, usually started up via power laser ignition to expand dark matter in the center of the reactor superstructure. Currently handled inside of Quantum Science Multipurpose Labs. Although, it is currently undergoing a switch of companies from Quantum Science to Pinewood Builders.
John: Hey Bill, have you seen the Dark Matter Reactor ignition sequence?
Bill: No... did you get a recording of it?
John: HELL YEAH!
Bill: No... did you get a recording of it?
John: HELL YEAH!
by TechnoDiamond October 11, 2018
Get the Dark Matter Reactor mug.if you're reading this and you've been feeling suicidal, depressed, or just could use a little extra support right now, now that you matter and someone out there cares. that could be me, it could be your parents, it could be a long-lost friend or that person you always walk by in the hallway. we love you, and just remember that it's ok to be upset sometimes, but that you always deserve better.
by askkkkkkk January 9, 2020
Get the u matter ❤️ mug.