masterbation

The endearing way grade schoolers spell the act of spanking the monkey or fucking Manuela and her 5 sisters

According to ancient myth, masterbation gives you hairy palms

by Hugh G Rection February 18, 2005

Masterbation Port

A Hole in a pair of pants or shorts that is located in the crotch reigon. This can be applied to both males and females, but mostly found in lazy males.

"Dude, that's sick, you have a freakin' masterbation port in your pants, Stitch it up already!"

by H_Zula April 6, 2005

masterbationist

one who masterbates in public

Jada is such a masterbationist.

by Bizzoner September 14, 2003

Masterbation Goggles

When you are masturbating to porn that you wouldn't normally find arousing.

Dude 1: Ew man why is their foot fetish videos in your search history?
Dude 2: I don't know man it must have been my masterbation goggles.

by Eaglesrownage December 12, 2012

mathtrobation

Stroking your ego with self serving rationalizations in the face of undeniable mathematical proof to the contrary.

Karl Rove's prolonged display of mathtrobation was a pathetic attempt to argue Mitt Romney could/would win Florida when it was determined numerically he could not.

by czoggit11 November 19, 2012

Masterbation Muse

Your inspiration for masterbating. Your go to porn or person you jack off to.

Person #1: My girlfriend is my masterbation muse, she gets me through it.
Person #2: My masterbation muse is Miss June

by Reginald Swig March 14, 2015

Mathturbation

Thinking about Math at an irrelevant time. Most often done first thing in the morning, late at night, or occasionally while on the toilet.

Carter was mathturbating in the shower early in the morning.

When Hannah was in History, she was so bored that she used mathturbation to relieve her stress.

After another lonely night, Justin mathturbated before going to sleep and was able to escape into a world of reals and dreams.

by Mathturbator34 October 23, 2012