When you tighten your girlfriends anus to a centimeter in diameter and make her take a bunch of laxatives. She then waits in the doggy position until the urge to shit arrives. Upon shitting, the poo will spray out and drop on the room like mortar fire, permanently damaging your carpet and her dignity.
Dude, I totally just made my girlfriend do the Iraqi mortar fire last night. We had to call in hazmat 10 minutes later.
by ducklicker456 February 26, 2021
Get the Iraqi mortar fire mug.A Martard is a delusional blonde who thinks that lightning will strike twice in the form of 2 Stanley Cup visits to the state of California. Martards are easily distinguished by their shameless love of Arricks and their pleasing demeanor. When you encounter a Martard, leave them in their natural environment as picking them up may cause other Martards to no longer recognize them and even go so far as to disown them. Martards are a fragile bunch and although they are stunningly cute, they do not make good pets. Injured Martards should immediately be given 6 bottles of beer and released in the nearest Octopus-free body of water.
Although the word was originally believed to have been made to taunt a pretty girl who had an unnatural obsession with Patrick "No Show" Marleau, recent rumors place the origin of this word closer to an individual's obsession with Mustard.
Although the word was originally believed to have been made to taunt a pretty girl who had an unnatural obsession with Patrick "No Show" Marleau, recent rumors place the origin of this word closer to an individual's obsession with Mustard.
You silly Martard, get off my nuts!
Oh Martard, you make me giggle.
Oh no! That Martard just got flattened by Kronwall!
Watch out Martard, there's Ducks in that water! QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK.
Oh Martard, you make me giggle.
Oh no! That Martard just got flattened by Kronwall!
Watch out Martard, there's Ducks in that water! QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK.
by ArrickW May 28, 2009
Get the Martard mug.Setting off a mortar strike on a teammate that is camping in one area and not getting kills in Battlefield: Bad Company 2.
by duhJeenyus July 8, 2011
Get the mortar spite mug.From the Universe of Warhammer 40.000
Mortarion, also known as the "Death Lord" or the "Prince of Decay" after he turned to Chaos, was one of the original twenty Imperial Primarchs created by the Emperor of Mankind. He was given command of the Death Guard Space Marine Legion on the arrival of the Emperor to his homeworld of Barbarus, but he turned to the service of Chaos during the Horus Heresy. At present, Mortarion is the greatest Daemon Prince of Nurgle and the Daemon Primarch of the Death Guard Chaos Space Marines.
Famous Quote: "Forget no insult, my sons, as I have never forgotten those of my father, of the Emperor, nor those of Horus. Forgive no slight or grievance. Hold your bitterness deep within, and there let it fester. Let it roil and squirm and churn, until you are filled with bile so poisonous that all you touch falls to ruin. Thus shall you serve Nurgle best. Thus shall you spread his virulent gifts across the false Imperium, and watch its final rotting…"
Mortarion, also known as the "Death Lord" or the "Prince of Decay" after he turned to Chaos, was one of the original twenty Imperial Primarchs created by the Emperor of Mankind. He was given command of the Death Guard Space Marine Legion on the arrival of the Emperor to his homeworld of Barbarus, but he turned to the service of Chaos during the Horus Heresy. At present, Mortarion is the greatest Daemon Prince of Nurgle and the Daemon Primarch of the Death Guard Chaos Space Marines.
Famous Quote: "Forget no insult, my sons, as I have never forgotten those of my father, of the Emperor, nor those of Horus. Forgive no slight or grievance. Hold your bitterness deep within, and there let it fester. Let it roil and squirm and churn, until you are filled with bile so poisonous that all you touch falls to ruin. Thus shall you serve Nurgle best. Thus shall you spread his virulent gifts across the false Imperium, and watch its final rotting…"
Mortarion is the Primarch of the Deathguard Legion, and the Champion of Nurgle.
"You're almost as filthy as Mortarion."
"You're almost as filthy as Mortarion."
by NotLoken March 30, 2018
Get the Mortarion mug.A tower in the Bloons TD franchise which shoots out mortar shells which explodes at the Bloons, dealing splash damage and can set target to a specific location. Has upgrades like Signal Flare, Bloon Buster, Artillery Battery and much more for bloon devastation.
Also called Mortar Tower.
Also called Mortar Tower.
"I am cracked with the Mortar Monkey in BTDB2, all I need is Biker Bones + 2 Shellshock Mortars and I can defend anything with a camo-detecting mortar!"
by Otheruser325 January 15, 2023
Get the Mortar Monkey mug.A sexual action involving a woman to eat greasy food or take dietary pills and then lay flat on her chest and then defecate at full force into a mans mouth behind her
Cuz: Danial always wanted an Alabama Mortar , this may be his lucky night after taco bell
Danial: I've been waiting for ever I could never thank you enough
Danial: I've been waiting for ever I could never thank you enough
by Truewhiteamerican April 28, 2022
Get the Alabama Mortar mug.When you start a relationship in-person and it leads to a hookup without using any dating apps (like Tinder)
Guy 1: Hey, is that a new girl, how’d you meet her?
Guy 2: Yeah, I met her dick and mortar!
Guy 1: No way! You didn’t use any apps at all?
Guy 2: Nah, we met at a coffee shop, and then I took her back to my place.
Guy 2: Yeah, I met her dick and mortar!
Guy 1: No way! You didn’t use any apps at all?
Guy 2: Nah, we met at a coffee shop, and then I took her back to my place.
by 24Harry42 December 23, 2020
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