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Retard Farming

Retard farming is the act of collecting government money by housing retards and keeping them in poor living conditions, therefore, saving most of the money collected for yourself.

Retard farming can be done in a variety of different ways; here is one of the more rustic examples:
Step 1: Buy a farm.
Step 2: Collect retards from government programs.
Step 3: Put said retards on farm.
Step 4: Allow them to graze the lands in a retarded stupor.
Step 5: Collect government money and become filthy fucking rich.
Farmer 1: "It's been a tough season for retard farming. I heard Farmer Yimie lost 3 retards last week after one of them went all crazy like in a blinded retard rage and killed the others."

Farmer 2: "Well I heard Farmer Eveland lost his whole stock! They dun' got trapped in the barn while in burnt down. Yep, siree! Them retards dun' been so stupid they couldn't figure out how to open the barn door!"
by Jak Jones September 4, 2011
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mellon-farmer

A sanitized or movie-edited substitute for mother fucker

The film "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" was released in 1995
staring Samuel L. Jackson (as Zeus Carver) and Bruce Willis
(as John McClane); but this film was later edited for TV...

While the term "mellon farmer" probably appeared in other
edited films, Jackson's character made it quite funny and
memorable ... even though the original unedited movie was
far better ... the editors got a bit lucky, this time.

An example line from the edited film:
Zeus: Now that's low, even for a white mellon-farmer like you.
by original-movie-fan December 14, 2008
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Honey ham farmer

A honey ham farmer is one who grooms sexual relationships with the obese.
Douglas flirted and fawned over the plump until he was called the honey ham farmer.
by I, Wreckerrr October 10, 2016
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migraine farmer

A really tough course or other brain-torturing exercise, eg programming, advanced calculus or effective ventriloquism. Symptoms include poverty due to the rising cost of Advil and long hours crying and asking "Why the hell did I enroll in this?" to random strangers on the street.
Example 1

Tom: There goes Luke again. Ever since he went into advanced computer programming, he's been literally insane.

Jerry: Yeah, that course is a migraine farmer all right.

Example 2

Man, ever since I started trying to imitate Jeff Dunham, I've realized how much of a migraine farmer ventriloquism is! How does he do it?
by ABeefyRhino November 16, 2009
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midget farming

A celebratory act started in the early 70's by oprah and family, where midgets are hunted, and then corraled into small pens where they are forced to perform circus tricks. This form of entertainment is no longer practiced by oprah, but is still enjoyed by the mentally ill, alcoholics, and wealthy housewives
"Wow the midget farming was incredible last night, those little guys can really dance!"
by chachaddict April 17, 2009
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Master Farmer

An inhabitant of Draynor Village in RuneScape. Contrary to what his name might suggest, the Master Farmer does not spend any time "farming", per se. Instead, he spends his days roaming around the square, waiting for players to try to steal his seeds so he can scream "Cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?" and punch them hard enough to cause fractures. He lives for this.
Because he does not farm, it is questionable how he manages to get so many seeds to begin with. Perhaps he buys them on the Grand Exchange; perhaps he is a pickpocket himself; perhaps he has secret underground crops farmed by an army of Master Farmerites. Whatever the case, he fits right in with the many sketchy citizens of Draynor.
Player: *attempts to pick the Master Farmer's pocket*
Master Farmer: *gives the player a fracture-causing punch* Cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?
Player: Training my thieving level, you dick!
by Enigmatical June 23, 2010
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Farm Fresh

Girls who are below legal-age who work in the beer-bars and go-go bars of Pattaya and Bangkok. Although they look over 18, their most tell-tale sign, is that they will laugh at a farang's (foreign person's) stupid jokes and are willing to try and engage with customers and show a little bit of fun and appreciation.

The other well-worn out grumpy bar girls who just frown, looking mindlessly into their iphone, and all but say 'Oh My Buddha, I'm sick of been here, but I'm too lazy to find a real job,' can't stand been next to any Farm Fresh as they make the older ones look like the obnoxious and damaged, money-hungry gold-diggers they are.
Bert and Ernie of Seaseme Street go straight to Pattaya and for a bit of female companionship and the boom-boom that comes with it:

Ernie - "Bert, if you're bringing a girl to the hotel tonight, make sure she has some ID. If the hotel catch you with an underage girl, you're gonna look like a right Garry Glitter."
Bert - "Quit your nattering and relax. I don't care if I bring back a farm fresh, just as long as the paparazzi don't spy on me here and try to ruin my chances of running for US president!"
by Chessymcchessyface February 21, 2018
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