Armchair Expert

Someone who claims to know all the answers to a problem, situation or scenario but has little or no experience or real understanding of it. Usually found on internet forums or writing in the letters section of tabloid newspapers. When faced with educated people who disassemble their argument with facts, they often state they learned their experience at the "University of life".

"If you exceed the speed limit by just 1 mph, you should be banned from driving"

"But you've never driven in your life, you're just an armchair expert"

by The Welsh Wizard January 11, 2012

Sausage Expert

1. A woman (or man) whom has had many sexual encounters with male partners.

2. Counter staff in Butcher shops.

Boy - "So, I hear you are quite the little sausage expert..?" ;)

Girl - "Yes. I work at the local butcher. I am a sausage pro!"

Boy - "That's not what I mea....never mind."

by manicbubble February 10, 2015

usual expert

(n) 1) Someone who makes regular appearances on talk shows and lectures simply because he or she appears to be intelligent. 2) A B-list celebritard.

Usual experts Noam Chomsky and Ann Coulter were debating the war in Iraq this morning on the TV.

by The Cabal June 14, 2008

Jizz Expert

One who knows an alarming amount about the obtaining, handling and digesting of the male ejaculant.

Man Justin, you gobbled up that stuff real good. You have become a real jizz expert.

by Justin Grundstrom January 1, 2012

african expert

any of the countless african facebook accounts that spam the EPL pages on facebook with their broken english gibberish predictions etc

Moses Wisdom Balla: like dis post if United is best team gonna win EPL this season.

Another african expert posting shit.

by okgono August 25, 2018

Suffering Expert

A person that is so adept at suffering that they have decided to do it for a living.

For your information, I am the Suffering Expert, so don’t you tell ME how to suffer!

by Dr Bunnygirl September 12, 2019

groundhog expert

A moron who fails at internet posting by making an utterly stupid inane comment, but in so doing, becomes an instant internet celebrity. Essentially the internet equivalent of Jessica Simpson's comment about "chicken of the sea."

A: "That's not the groundhog making that noise, seriously. Is it?"
B: "please just delete your account and go join the church of scientology....."
A: "Fuck you guys, I'm no groundhog expert."

by Rank N. Feral May 3, 2009