America
When nothing is wrong: America is so bad, they only focus on money
When shit hits the fan: America! Help!
When shit hits the fan: America! Help!
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America
A place where school shootings happen, a lot, like a lot a lot. Probably because it's so easy to buy a gun.
But don't worry, if you are involved in one you only have to sell your soul to satan for healthcare.
But don't worry, if you are involved in one you only have to sell your soul to satan for healthcare.
America by Idk just made it for a joke November 7, 2019
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America
Beautiful country full of intelligent and progressive people. It's not that Americans are so dumb that they don't know about the rest of the world. Put bluntly, they don't generally care because they've not really HAD to care until now. This is what happens when your own country is able to provide you with virtually everything you need and when it is perceived as a global superpower. It's common to not care about what's in someone else's house when you are so happy with what's in your own! Americans tend not to know a great deal about...oh...say...Europe because it is highly irrelevant to everyday American life. However, America is highly relevant to the everyday life of the average person in just about every other country known to man. For all the jealous whiners: don't hate America because it's beautiful!
America by BamaBrasiliera October 20, 2010
America
America is a country of utter fuckwads. They've committed brutal atrocities just to get their overseas military-bases into other countries' borders. They (along with two other third world countries) use the imperial measurement system, which requires calculators to measure anything. Instead of metric, which have numbers increasing with an exponential of 10, 100 or 1000, and is thus, easy to understand. Oh and they also use fahrenheit instead of Celsius. And completely fucked up when it comes to the calendar, it's day/month/year, Not month/day/year. And the worst part: For profit prisons. Just fuck off with your "save" money mentality. If you invested in actual good prisons you wouldn't need an atrocious police budget. It also sucks when it comes to unemployment benefits. Also, a very car centric view, which is both unhealthy, unsustainable, and obviously terrible for the environment.
And they also have Nazi’s.
And they also have Nazi’s.
American: I'm proud to be an american!
European: How could you be proud to be an American? You don't even use the metric system
Thermometer: 15
American: FIFTEEN DEGREES?!
European: Celsius!
American: How much is that?
European: A little chilly
Sign: Due to the ongoing pandemic we will be closed until 20/6/2021
American: What, they have 20 Months in Europe?
European: No, we measure Day/month/year
American: Ahhhhh, right, which month is the sixth one
European: Fuck you!
European: So why are you blind
American: The prison guard hit the back of my head with a sledgehammer for disrespecting the warden.
European:.............. Warden?
American: The owner of the prison
European: That's not the government?
American: No that would be communist
European: *sigh*
American: Wait, how do you get to "local supermarket"?
European: Oh, you take the bus to "station" then you walk 5 minutes.
American: How long does it take to drive?
European: You can't, it is a pedestrian space only. I guess you could take the subway if you don't want to walk. Takes longer though
American: I don't wanna take no damn communist bus and train. Don't you have freedom in Europe?
European: We literally have more freedoms than you! Both political, personal and employment freedoms.
European: How could you be proud to be an American? You don't even use the metric system
Thermometer: 15
American: FIFTEEN DEGREES?!
European: Celsius!
American: How much is that?
European: A little chilly
Sign: Due to the ongoing pandemic we will be closed until 20/6/2021
American: What, they have 20 Months in Europe?
European: No, we measure Day/month/year
American: Ahhhhh, right, which month is the sixth one
European: Fuck you!
European: So why are you blind
American: The prison guard hit the back of my head with a sledgehammer for disrespecting the warden.
European:.............. Warden?
American: The owner of the prison
European: That's not the government?
American: No that would be communist
European: *sigh*
American: Wait, how do you get to "local supermarket"?
European: Oh, you take the bus to "station" then you walk 5 minutes.
American: How long does it take to drive?
European: You can't, it is a pedestrian space only. I guess you could take the subway if you don't want to walk. Takes longer though
American: I don't wanna take no damn communist bus and train. Don't you have freedom in Europe?
European: We literally have more freedoms than you! Both political, personal and employment freedoms.
America
The only Western democracy with capital punishment and the only country with very high development (UNDP HDI) that does not have universal healthcare or paid maternity leave.
America by LondonDictionary April 1, 2017
America
Generally used to describe the United States of America, since just saying "America" is shorter. If I lived in Brazil, I'd classify myself as Brazilian, not American.
A country frequently bashed by pseudointellectuals who condemn the average American 13-year old for not knowing the exact political climate of Romania, because of course their country is an intellectual utopia. Run by George W. Bush, whose approval rate is 20-something percent. In the 2000 election, the Supreme Court ruled that vote counting be stopped while GWB was ahead, although it was obvious that Gore had more votes. In 2004, faulty voting machines made by Diebold, a company in the Bush family's pocket, took over the counting. Even with Kerry votes counting backwards, not counting at all, counting as Bush votes, the machines being easier to hack in to than a matchbox, Bush won by 2%.
America is currently suffering from one-party government; all three branches have a majority of conservative Republicans. The Supreme Court is packed with conservative idiots who just won't die. The political climate is one of extremism; one can be either a gunslinging Republican shithead or a conspiracy theorist Democrat shithead.
The Bush administration is botching the job quite noticably. Financially America is in deep debt to China and other countries, a war in Iraq was started on false pretenses, we are fucking up the environment beyond belief with our idiotic energy policies and the education system is absolute shit.
While the typical picture an outsider would have of an American is an obese moron who bathes his $200,000 Hummervalance (-50 miles to the gallon!) in champagne and thinks that Iraq is somewhere around New Zealand, this is not true. There are plenty of extremist American idiots. However, they're the only ones that get the news coverage. There are idiots outside of America. Plenty of Americans are level-headed, intelligent people who aren't religious fundamentalists with four shotguns a person and a Colt for the cat.
The American media is one-sided, one-dimensional, and devotes huge amounts of time to pointless stories. Rarely is anything outside of OHMYGODTHISCANKILLYOU...More at 12:30, only on FOX. The outside world is rarely portrayed, so most Americans who have to hold down three jobs and get 4 hours of sleep and consequently don't have the time to search through every international news station's website have no access to the big picture.
America may change for the better in 2008; however, if the choice is a hot turd sandwich or a cold turd sandwich, you can't really blame them for doing the best they can.
A country frequently bashed by pseudointellectuals who condemn the average American 13-year old for not knowing the exact political climate of Romania, because of course their country is an intellectual utopia. Run by George W. Bush, whose approval rate is 20-something percent. In the 2000 election, the Supreme Court ruled that vote counting be stopped while GWB was ahead, although it was obvious that Gore had more votes. In 2004, faulty voting machines made by Diebold, a company in the Bush family's pocket, took over the counting. Even with Kerry votes counting backwards, not counting at all, counting as Bush votes, the machines being easier to hack in to than a matchbox, Bush won by 2%.
America is currently suffering from one-party government; all three branches have a majority of conservative Republicans. The Supreme Court is packed with conservative idiots who just won't die. The political climate is one of extremism; one can be either a gunslinging Republican shithead or a conspiracy theorist Democrat shithead.
The Bush administration is botching the job quite noticably. Financially America is in deep debt to China and other countries, a war in Iraq was started on false pretenses, we are fucking up the environment beyond belief with our idiotic energy policies and the education system is absolute shit.
While the typical picture an outsider would have of an American is an obese moron who bathes his $200,000 Hummervalance (-50 miles to the gallon!) in champagne and thinks that Iraq is somewhere around New Zealand, this is not true. There are plenty of extremist American idiots. However, they're the only ones that get the news coverage. There are idiots outside of America. Plenty of Americans are level-headed, intelligent people who aren't religious fundamentalists with four shotguns a person and a Colt for the cat.
The American media is one-sided, one-dimensional, and devotes huge amounts of time to pointless stories. Rarely is anything outside of OHMYGODTHISCANKILLYOU...More at 12:30, only on FOX. The outside world is rarely portrayed, so most Americans who have to hold down three jobs and get 4 hours of sleep and consequently don't have the time to search through every international news station's website have no access to the big picture.
America may change for the better in 2008; however, if the choice is a hot turd sandwich or a cold turd sandwich, you can't really blame them for doing the best they can.
I love the American take on our skyrocketing gas prices. Not, "How can we make the cars America drives run better," but "Hey, now we're almost paying as much as the UK does for gas! That's not fair...we're Americans."
America by Dr. Moreau February 12, 2007