Shweat Wipe

The act of wiping ones inexplicably shitty arse without having actually passed a stool.

"Man, you would not have believed that was just a shweat wipe, I saw sweetcorn!"

by The Last Lizard King March 28, 2016

jabba-wipe

A woman who is addicted to having sex with obese men.

Steve, the only girl in this room who’d fuck your fat-ass would be a jabba-wipe like Ashley.

by Skankaflank May 13, 2022

botched wipe

The point when ones finger penetrates the paper barrier between it and the anus causing feces to get under the nail. Verify by sniffing the suspect finger.

After smelling my finger I determined I had a botched wipe

by Ivan Denisovich December 31, 2013

Victory Wipe

A mid day wipe of the crack to keep things tidy. No poo or sitting required although who doesn't love a good sit?

Where did Scott go? He said he was hitting the john for a Victory Wipe. Dude is always staying fresh.

by Ol'D1rtyB@$T@rd December 12, 2018

Hate Wipe

When you wipe after pooping, and your finger breaks through the toilet paper into your butthole.

Yesterday I accidentally hate wiped myself at my parents house.

by Snipedog22 December 23, 2016

Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.

After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified

by Gronksucker March 27, 2019

Rage Wipe

When you're trying to wipe after taking a big poop but you just keep wiping poop and get so angry at the thought of you having to wipe so much that you wipe harder and faster; enough to make your butt hole bleed.

"Dude, I just took the biggest dump this morning and it felt so good but my arm is killing me now."

"Your arm? Why?"

" It was so messy and it wouldn't go away and it caused me to rage wipe for about 15 minutes."

by NotsosMom December 20, 2017