Jesus of Nazareth was a Jewish theologian who taught (among other things) an exciting and sophisticated view of the afterlife and a somewhat unusual theological perspective that God is love. His social and moral teachings (especially those on women) were quite progressive, and some of his teaching was so heterodox that he was considered a false prophet and a corrupter of the Jewish faith by the Sanhedrin.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Most Biblical scholars agree that the one gospel which suggests trinitarianism (the belief that God is three parts yet one- Father, Son and Holy Spirit), the Gospel of John, was the latest of the Gospels. It was heavily influenced by the Gnostics, a branch of early Christianity which has come to gain a bad reputation by most Christian sects, but one which suggested that Jesus was at least in a sense divine.
In the other Gospels Jesus is seen as human, though the Son of God, born of a virginal conception. He says nothing about being God himself, about worshiping him, or about changing Jewish laws like kosher and circumcision (being a Jew, Jesus was circumcised and followed kosher law himself), and the notion that Jesus himself founded an official church (much less the Catholic church) is nigh laughable.
Jesus was executed in the 1st Century A.D. by the Roman government in Israel. Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for over 2000 years, he's not coming back, and he's definitely not the God who created the world; it's questionable he even claimed that himself.
Jesus: I come to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
Christian: OK guys! No more Torah, no more kosher law, no more fasting and only one hour of worship a week! Praise Jesus!
by A Former Christian December 29, 2011
Get the Jesus mug.The business of spreading the Gospel and saving souls (for a profit, of course.) Business practice made popular by such personalities as Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, Oral Roberts and other charismatic con-men with shiny suits and big hair.
by PilotMikeTX October 14, 2006
Get the jesuness mug.A mythical person just as real as the lockness monster, the boogie man, Pamela Anderson's boobs and the possibility of you having a 13inch penis
by Brodie DCLXVI July 4, 2008
Get the Jesus mug.Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009
Get the Jesus mug.some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 6, 2011
Get the jesus mug.1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
by Nicole, your savior August 20, 2008
Get the Jesus mug.Jesus,is a total fake.He'd be cool if he was real,but his dad can go suck a cock for all I fucking care.
by fairytale!!!!!!!!!!! October 29, 2008
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