Absolute Garden Gnome

That one guy who eats all your food in your fridge with his pants off.
He wack, but he yo homie. you get mad at him but you get over it.
He comes out as gay but he's still your little horny elf.
he sends you dick pics but you still love him.

"You mother fucking absolute garden gnome i hate you come here and suck my dick"

by a3sw4ed5rftijkoplkijuhygtfrdfy October 22, 2020

absolute koon

A crazy black man

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!

by zacthemac October 31, 2019

Absolutely Not

She 100% likes the man bun

Me: “ do you like the man bun”
Her: “absolutely not”

by Idevenknowyet September 12, 2020

absolute fuckin unit

a chubby, spotty girl with a massive nose and forehead

she is an absolute fuckin unit

by absolutefuckinunit March 9, 2019

absolute mess

when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.

the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.

'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'

by jamiej13 May 28, 2014

absolutely wallpapered

Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee

“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee”

by Stayout February 27, 2019

ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.

That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.

by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022